We get it. You love your bf. But do you really need to post a picture of him every Monday? Same goes for that green juice this morning. That was a lovely piece of broccoli, but while I’m scarfing down my bacon and eggs, I’d rather not see your latest #juicecleanse fad.
Social media has become a way for women (and men alike) to brag about themselves and prove to their ex-boyfriends that they’ve moved on using the best filter possible. Or multiple. Don’t lie, you’ve definitely used a filter, screenshot it, and used another one on top of that. Rather than showing the world what we’re actually doing (watching Netflix), we’ve resorted to annoying the world one upload at a time. (You definitely had bacon too after posting that pic).
Here’s a list of what you’re doing and why you should stop. Immediately. Before those 500 followers of yours drops down to 0.
1. You post an #OOTD multiple times a day.
That defeats the purpose. You’re not Beyonce (unfortunately), so you don’t need to have multiple outfit changes in a 24 hour period…and feel the need to document them all.
2. Instead of man crushing every Monday, you man crush everyday.
Everyone knows you’re dating. Save the sappy “It’s our 37th month anniversary” for a text, ya weirdo.
3. No one needs a play-by-play of your food choices.
Unless those eggs were made by God himself, please just eat them while they’re hot and move on with your day.
4. You post more than one selfie per day.
If you do this, I hate you and your ass is getting unfollowed. No one likes one, let alone 12.
5. Your kid is cute.
But not that cute.
6. No one is around, but for some reason you’re laughing.
Your friend taking the photo was definitely like, “Pretend you’re laughing!” Just stop. No one has time for that.
7. Throwback Thursday becomes a weekly excuse to post that one cool thing you did that one time in 2003.
It is not a mandatory event you must participate in every week.
8. You #nofilter.
When you clearly used a damn filter. (If you want to be really creepy, look them up on Gramfeed and catch them in their lie. It tells you what filter they used. Muahaha).
9. Oh good, a holiday! The perfect time to see endless photos of you doing things we don’t care about.
That time you got a scarf for Christmas? Yawn. That time you went to a Halloween party dressed like a slut? Double yawn.
10. A trip to Starbucks doesn’t always deserve a photo.
Your tall skinny vanilla chai latte with soy and an ounce of whipped cream should be enjoyed by you. Not the whole world. And yes, we see they spelled your name wrong. They do that on purpose just to annoy people like you.