The “half-Chinese,” the “Eurasian,” or the “halfie” experience. Whatever you choose to call it is your decision, but there is no denying the fact that being half-Chinese is an extremely unique life. If you’re like me and are half-Chinese and half-Italian, you tend to find yourself jumping between ethnicities, choosing to identify yourself as “Chinese” or “white” in different groups. The truth is, you don’t need to identify yourself for people. Who you choose to be is entirely up to you.
For some reason, being half-Chinese perplexes most people to no end. As a result, I’m sure you’ve gotten the same comments and had some of the same phrases and questions thrown at you throughout your lives. It’s aggravating to the point where it’s almost comical. Why are you receiving the “so, what are you?” question every time you go outside? Why have you heard it for the hundredth time? You can’t help but laugh because people genuinely have no idea what to do with you. That’s their problem–not yours.
1. The Infamous Question: Where are you from?
Person: So, where are you from?
Me: New York.
Person: No, like, where were you born.
Me: New York.
Person: Where are your parents from?
Me: …New York. My mother is white, can you go away?
2. “Your English is great!”
Tends to happen when your FIRST LANGUAGE IS ENGLISH.
3. “Do you speak Chinese?”
Do you speak German? Italian? French? No? That’s what I thought, sit down.
4. “You’re not really ‘Chinese.'”
Oh? I didn’t realize that there were levels to ethnicity.
5. “I’m really into Asian girls.”
6. “So, are you going to be a doctor or engineer?”
JUST BECAUSE I’M ASIAN DOES NOT MEAN I AM GOOD AT MATH AND SCIENCE.
I’M ACTUALLY VERY BAD AT MATH AND SCIENCE, THANK YOU.
7. The hardest SAT question: “Check One For Race.”
This is insulting and I feel oppressed.
8. “Oh, you’re half-Chinese? I can see it in your eyes.”
B*tch, WHAT?!
9. “You’re Half-Chinese and [insert ethnicity here]? That’s so cool!”
Thank you, I worked really hard to be mixed.
10. “What’s your name? No, I mean, what’s your real name?”
I. Was. Born. In. This. Country. My. Parents. Are. Americans.
11. “You’re so exotic.”
Am I a f*ckin’ tropical bird? What does that mean?
12. “My favorite pick-up line: ‘What are you?'”
American, goodbye.
13. “Would you date an Asian man or a white man?”
Would you ask anyone else in this room this question? No? GO AWAY.
14. “Your sibling looks more Asian/whiter than you do.”
I guarantee you that we think otherwise and literally don’t care.
15. Half-Asian hair is a pain.
Are you feeling curly? Wavy? Straight? Please cooperate with me today.
16. “Mixed children are so cute!”
B*tch, I’m still cute.
17. “You look exactly like Lucy Liu.”
Translation: I look exactly like the only Asian-American actress you know.
18. Meeting another half-Asian person is a blessing.
Finally, a person who is down to eat dim sum and pizza simultaneously.
19. There’s always a blend of lasagne, fried rice, jook, char siu and pasta fagiole in the fridge.
Ha, ha. Must suck to have tasteless food for dinner.
20. I’m ambi-utensilist: I can use both chopsticks and forks.
Quite frankly, forks are barbaric.
21. You get to celebrate the holidays of both of your cultures.
Whilst other people flounder about, trying to make head or tails of your ethnic background, you can revel in celebrating both the New Year and the Lunar New Year.
22. Being half-Chinese is simply awesome.
Feel like being white? Okay. Feel like being Chinese? Okay. Embrace it, you can do whatever you want.
No math or science required.
Half-Asian kids, unite!
[Lead image via]
