You come home from the beach and you’re a crisp golden brown. You can barely contain your excitement—all of the lazing on the beach finally paid off! The sheer contrast between your once-pasty and pale self results in the biggest smile to spread across your face. This is what summer is all about—getting dark enough to make everyone else jealous when you go back to school.
That is, until you turn around in the mirror and see that your back (amongst other things) is an alarming, fire engine red. The big smile on your face is now a gape-jawed expression of horror as you try to hold in all of your screams. You twist and turn in front of the mirror, comparing the color of your skin. You just want to tear your hair out. You could have sworn you put sunscreen there (as you struggle to touch the part of your body that is sunburned)!
We’ve all been there. We’ve all felt these things.
1. BLESSED SUN HAS GRACED ME WITH ONE HELLUVA BEAUTIFUL DAY FOR MY DAY OFF FROM WORK!
2. Break out the towels and sunscreen!
3. To the beach!
4. I’ll only sit out in the sun for a little bit. Don’t want to get too carried away.
5. [four hours later]
6. Eh, worse things have happened.
7. [upon arriving home] Let’s check out today’s masterpiece.
8. [naked in front of a mirror] Just want to take the time to thank the folks for their amazing tanning genetics. You the real MVP.
9. Is that a—I swear…
10. No, this can’t be happening.
11. I never burn.
12. I was in the sun for a long time. Maybe it’s just my mind f*ckin’ with me. I’ll just take a shower to forget about it.
13. [in shower] ABSOLUTELY NOT. MY MIND WAS NOT PLAYIN’ WITH ME. THAT IS A SUNBURN AND IT IS VERY ANGRY.
14. EVERYTHING BURNS. WATER HURTS ME.
15. TOWELING HURTS.
16. CLOTHES HURT.
17. I’m just going to lie here until society tells me otherwise.
18. Maybe it’ll turn into a tan tomorrow?
19. Yeah! Hope for tomorrow!
20. [in bed] Everything is pain.
21. Nothing was the same.
22. Nope, it did not turn into a tan.
23. Please, no one touch me. I’m very tender.
24. I SAID, “VERY TENDER.”
25. Must I start peeling?
26. Why is peeling a reaction?
27. This is gross.
28. This is kind of fun, actually.
29. Why does it make a noise when I peel off my skin? Ugh, I hate the body.
30. [upon growing scaly] What is happening to me?
31. My skin requires MOISTURE.
32. WHERE IS THE ALOE?
33. I’m never going outside again.
34. Get the photographer out of the dark room—I’m moving in.
[Lead image via]
