The sheer rage I feel in my chest right now is not human. I cannot adequately explain using any language on this planet how furious I am. Perhaps I am blinded by rage, unable to see something unique, new, and cool. Maybe I’m too far up my own ass when it comes to music, but, my God, today, the music world has let me down enormously.
My name is Caroline Chu and I am a devout preacher, believer, and worshipper of Steven Patrick Morrissey/Morrissey/Moz, and all things The Smiths.
For some background information, last year, Ryan Adams produced for Fall Out Boy, recorded a punk record, and wrote his own series of comic books. His new project is covering Taylor Swift’s 1989 in the style of The Smiths.
First of all, who the f*ck is Ryan Adams? Second: who or what gave you the audacity to claim that these 1989 covers sound anything like The Smiths?
He claims that his cover of “Welcome to New York” is the “guaranteed saddest version…ever – or your tears back” on his Instagram, later posting a video featuring a small snippet of the song “in the style of The Smiths.”
Adams, the only sensation of sadness I felt whilst listening to this cover is the sadness of knowing I’ll have to puke up my tasty breakfast later because of this cover. Quite frankly, none of these covers sound like The Smiths. You’ll never be The Smiths, so stop trying. Claiming that your covers sound like The Smiths is one ballsy thing to do—but to say so and not deliver? Flat out embarrassing.
Taylor Swift seems fairly pleased with the cover samples, but heaven knows I’m miserable now.