Freshman year of college is an exciting time. As much as the upperclassman will snicker at you for waiting in the wrong line in the dining hall, make no mistake, they envy you freshmen. They’d do anything to be in your shoes and have four glorious years of undergraduate studies before them. You’re the fresh meat. Everything is new. Prepare to feel like a mini-celebrity, fielding questions from your relatives and peers alike. These ten questions, will will be asked of you countless times over the next month or so, are the “What are you wearing?” of the college red carpet.
1. “What’s your major?”
Ask me in two years when I’m forced to declare because it’s probably going to change three times before then.
2. “Which classes are you taking?”
Do you really want me to list the six classes I’m enrolled in? Okay…here we go…but be forewarned that I’m not going to ask you the same thing because IDGAF.
3. “What dorm are you in?”
Let me guess: You lived in the same dorm and are going to describe to me exactly which room was yours while I politely smile and hope I’m never as nostalgic about being forced to use community showers.
4. “Where are you from?”
I’m going to say my town, and you’re going to give me a blank stare, forcing me to elaborate. Can we just skip this part?
5. “Are you ready for the best four years of your life?”
That’s a lot of pressure, buddy.
6. “What year are you?”
Should I lie? We’re at a party…it’s not like they’ll ever find out for real. Ah, but I’ll look so dumb when I get caught…don’t make me say I’m a lowly freshman out loud again please…
“I’m a freshman.”
Great, now he’s going to ask me questions 1-5.
7. “How are classes going?”
I know you don’t really care so I’m just going to say “good” and change the subject. I don’t know what else to tell you, Mom.
8. “Want to join our club?”
Pro tip: Put a FAKE email down on that sign up sheet. If not, prepare for four years of weekly emails with club updates for an organization where you haven’t gone to one meeting, no matter how many emails you send them asking to please remove you.
9. “Do you like your roommate?”
Does anyone actually like their random roommate?
10. “What are your plans for after graduation?”
I just got here…
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