The 40 Stages Of Being In A Group Chat

There are many reasons for being in a group chat: your friends and you are trying to organize going to dinner at the dining hall; you have a group project to work on; you’re trying to rally the troops to head out into the night on Friday; you’re merely trying to keep in touch with three or four people without having to send the same message three or four times.

The intentions are good, but never do they stay.

In short, there are certain stages everyone goes through when he or she is thrown into the mix of the group chat. You are not alone in your group chat struggles—there are millions of human beings behind you who feel the exact same way.

Maybe we should start a support group [chat]?

I’m sorry—that was a terrible joke.

1. This is exciting!

2. I’m included with their group!

3. I didn’t know I was part of their group.

4. Whose number is that?

5. Is it too awkward to ask?

6. I’ll just have to use process-of-elimination.

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7. OH! It’s that kid.

8.

9. Now my phone is tainted with his/her bullsh*t.

10. Okay, let’s see what theses people have to say.

11. Wow, none of these people know how to spell.

12. Or understand basic grammar conventions.

13. Christ, this is bad.

14. He/She isn’t even using that emoji correctly.

15. Whatever, these are my friends now, I suppose.

16. [Two Days Later]

17. They. Haven’t. Shut. Up.

18. This was a group chat for going to dinner two days ago.

19. That theme is GONE.

20. They’re not even talking to everyone in the group!

21. Person A is ONLY talking to Person B!

22. TAKE IT TO A PRIVATE CHAT, GUYS.

23. I don’t care what you’re having for lunch.

24. If I wake up to another 500 messages, I’m going to freak the f*ck out.

25. [Next Morning]

26. [Blood-Curdling Scream]

27. Oh, for f*ck’s sake, they’ve titled the damn thing.

28. I wasn’t even awake for this joke.

29.

30. I’m going to throw my phone out of a window.

31. I don’t understand how hey have something to say every waking second.

32. Wait…

33. What is this?

34. “Leave this conversation?”

35. Oh, my God.

36. Praise JESUS.

37. [BASHES THE BUTTON IN]

38. I’m FREE.

39. [New Group Message Alert]

40. Oh, look! I was included in another group message! How cool!

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