College is made up of the electives we take. Let’s be honest for a second: your major is cool, but how many of those people do you really want to see every day? You keep wondering where these cute guys who pass you on the way to class come from and notice you have seen a few of them before at the bar. I know Julie said that Bobby’s fraternity brother Paul is kind of a jerk, but you always see him in the library and now you’re walking into the fine arts department on campus. After he smiles, you discover the class he’s walking into is a class for his major. But how do you know if this is good news?
Arts Majors
At his best: Focused. Attentive. Open-minded. Passionate. Romantic (with his work, let’s relax ladies).
At his worst: Dejected. Narcissistic. The possibility of excessive drinking and/or drug use. Critical. Moody.
Edge: Might write you into something beautiful. Might just turn you into the line of a song. (Insert video clip of Fallout Boy’s “Sugar, We’re Goin Down.”)
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.5 +/- 2.667
Biology Majors
At his best: Smart. Hardworking. Remembers the details. Probably played an instrument in high school.
At his worst: Will want to discuss the theoretical differences between nature versus nurture. Busy. Might be awkward. Probably played an instrument in high school.
Edge: Possibly able to grow food. Definitely understands how a baby grows.
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.6
Business/Finance Majors
At his best: Quick. Ambitious. Decisive. Calculative. Nice paycheck.
At his worst: Opportunist. Arrogant. Cutthroat.
Edge: His temperament – He is really either very calm, or very adamant. Not easily shaken.
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.8
English/History/Math Majors
At his best: Stable. Knowledgable. Organized. Possibly good with kids. Personable. Persistent.
At his worst: Bland.
Edge: Either wants to be an educator or a stay-at-home kind of dad. Always has a schedule or a plan.
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.2
Philosophy Majors
At his best: Thoughtful. Ethical. Truthful. Practical. Idealistic.
At his worst: Disorganized. Indecisive. Lazy.
Edge: Will take “Netflix and chill” to a whole different level. (Think: literally)
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.3
Psychology Majors
At his best: Empathetic. A good listener. Communicative. Engaging. Perceptive.
At his worst: Manipulative. Unoriginal. Not actually invested in Psychology as a career.
Edge: Understands things people situationally, as a group, or individually.
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.4
Bonus: Gym Majors (Student Athletes)
At his best: Competitive. Committed. Disciplined.
At his worst: Conceited. Emotional. Heads full of hot air/rocks.
Edge: Physique.
Chance he’s trying to sleep with you on a scale of 1-5: 4.7 (+2 with testosterone boosters)
At least you can rest assured that if they ask you to study together, there’s already an 80% chance he wants to sleep with you.
[Lead image via Shutterstock]
