There are obvious things you should never do in a relationship if you want it to last. For example, don’t cheat. But when it comes to dating it is easy to let rationale and independence fly out the window. It makes sense, since research has shown that falling in love has the same effect on us as drug addiction.
But it doesn’t make it okay. If you really want to have a healthy, functioning and loving relationship, there are certain behaviors you must make sure you keep in check.
Below are the 10 Commandments of Sane, Healthy Girlfriends
Thou shall not depend.
When you’re dating someone who is caring, loving and attentive, it’s easy to get used to constantly being taken care of. But just because your S.O. is always there for you, doesn’t mean you should depend on them for everything. For a healthy relationship to work, you need to individual, healthy people. Don’t become clingy.
Though shall not smother.
We get it. You’re in love and you want to spend every waking moment with him. But just because you want to, doesn’t mean you should. A healthy girlfriend understands that her boyfriend needs, and should, have time with his guy friends and nights spent without you always around. This shouldn’t be a problem, though, at least not if you’re still regularly making plans with your friends too. And you should be.
Thou shall not make ultimatums.
There are better ways to get what you want in a relationship than by being manipulative. The way to get what you want is not through threats—at least it shouldn’t be. Everyone should feel free in the relationship they’re in—not limited.
Thou shall not withhold sex as punishment.
Should you have sex even if you aren’t feeling affectionate or in the loving mood? Of course not. But when you only use sex as a reward, you are subtly sending the message that you are doing him a favor by having sex with him. Which isn’t healthy—for either of you. Sex should be about love, not about getting what you want or manipulating them.
Thou shall not jump to conclusions.
It happens in the blink of an eye: He doesn’t something you don’t like, such as ignore your phone call, and before you know it you are accusing him of cheating on you. If you love and trust your boyfriend, know that there is probably a valid explanation for whatever is going on. Give him the benefit of the doubt before conducting a witch hunt and doing something you probably will regret.
Thou shall not belittle, judge or criticize.
Healthy relationships hinge on acceptance, trust, comfort and unconditional love. If you are going to be with someone, be with them for who they are right now, good and bad,—not the potential of who you think they could be.
Thou shall not compare.
Every relationship is different. And most of what you know about other relationships, like what you see on Instagram, isn’t even scratching the surface.
Thou shall not creep through their phone.
It can be tempting to take a scroll through his phone while he’s in the shower. But don’t. When you go looking for things you won’t like, you will most likely find them (even if “it” is a text message from a girl which was sent before you started dated). If you don’t trust your S.O. enough to not creep through their messages, there is a much larger issue at hand.
Thou shall not treat the other as punching bag.
Life is stressful, and sometimes it’s easy to take out your stress on the people closest to you. But if you are constantly blowing up at your partner with misdirected anger, it’s only a matter of time before they pack their bags.
Thou shall not “test”.
If you want to know something, ask. If you want them to do something, tell them. But don’t put them through sneaky tests you construe in your mind that cause them to jump through hoops in an attempt to prove how much they love you. If you don’t already believe they are with you because they love you, you probably aren’t with the right person.
[Lead image via Shutterstock]