As college students, we undergo immense levels of stress that would put even the strongest of human beings in the hospital. Between the constant paper writing, endless exams, working for minimum (or likely: the unpaid internship) wage and never ending reading assignments, our lives, you could make the argument, are one giant tragedy. Greek or Shakespearean, take your pick. Regardless, there will be figurative bloodshed and there will be a lot of wailing and crying. Perhaps you’ll even soliloquize.
In addition to being the most overworked, stressed-out individuals, college students are quite resilient. We are, if you couldn’t tell, also the most over-dramatic. Look, we have to cope somehow. If exaggeration and falling to the ground in a crumpled heap is what it will take to get us through our horrific schedules, then so be it.
While these might not constitute “real world” tragedies, in college, these events are WORLD-SHATTERING.
1. When You Spend 17 Years In The Library Studying Only To Get A “C” On The Exam
You tried to be a good student and it blew up back in your face. I suppose the answer to this problem is to cease all of your studies.
2. Checking Your Grades.
The Internet tends to slow down when you need to check your grades, amping up the anxiety you’re feeling tenfold.
Then, the website crashes because everyone else is trying to do the same thing.
3. Dining Hall Food.
Who knew it was possible to make so much food in one place that has literally no nutritional value?
4. When Your Professor Announces The Highest And Lowest Grade In The Class And You Received The Lowest Grade.
You know it’s only you and the professor who know that you totally bombed the test, but you feel as if everyone in the classroom is staring at you in disappointment.
5. 10+ Page Papers.
Look, professor, I know you don’t want to read this paper and I don’t want to write it, either. Let’s make a compromise?
6. Incorrect Syllabi.
Yeah, you can look up the corrected syllabus online, but that takes a lot of effort. Why couldn’t your professor catch his or her mistakes before handing out the damn thing?
7. Stairs.
Because anything you need to do on campus requires a crash workout for your glutes.
8. Being The Sober Friend.
Someone has to get your friends home safe. Or perhaps you have no money to get drunk. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Either way, it sucks.
9. Laundry Day.
You’ve been avoiding doing your laundry for weeks now and the pile in your room is nearly the size of Mt. Everest.
10. 7 A.M. Registration.
Like checking your grades, registration is yet another time that the website decides that now is the perfect time to take its sweet time to load. Not only are you awake at an ungodly hour, but you have to be awake enough to remember what classes you’re trying to take next semester.
You just want to go back to bed.
11. All-Day Exhaustion; All-Night Insomnia.
You complain about being tired all day, planning on taking naps that never happen, only to find yourself at 3 a.m., wide awake. The world is truly a cruel place.
12. Printing.
It’s either jammed, backed-up with other print orders, without ink or unplugged. When your school promised free printing for all students, they didn’t include this in the brochures.
13. Wi-Fi.
It seems to get progressively worse as technology gets better. It’s quite the enigma.
14. The Gym.
In the real world, the gym can be a rewarding place where you sweat out all of the toxins and just generally feel good about yourself. In college, it’s a punishment to keep that dastardly Freshmen 15 off.
15. Coffee.
Because the dining hall provides you with sh*tty cold coffee that claims to be pumpkin spice, but really just tastes like *ss. You drink it anyway because God knows you can’t get through your math class without it.
