18 Things That Will Make Twentysomethings Feel Old As Sh*t

Whether you’re still in college or just moved out on your own, your twenties aren’t easy. Post graduation, in particular, is like a sudden catapult into adulthood that no one prepares you for. Wasn’t it just yesterday that you were playing with Barbies and your biggest worry was watering your Chia Pet?

Unfortunately, bills don’t pay themselves and you still have a long to-do list, although instead of homework, it consists of things like “defrost chicken” and “take out recycling.” Regardless, you feel old as sh*t and now you’re trying to navigate the world after being in school since you were like, three.

I apologize for this in advance:

1. When you realize that 2035 is as far away as 1995.

2. When you come home for Christmas Break to find that your BFF’s little brother is suddenly ten feet taller than when you left.

4. When your pre-teen self thought you’d have kids by the time you were 25. Now that thought frightens you to your core.

I don’t want to be a regular mom. I want to be a cool mom. 

5. When you’ve stopped getting ID’d.

6. When you’re hungry and grab an apple instead of a cookie.

And actually enjoy it.

7. When you have the horrifying realization that you’re more than halfway to 40.


8. When you’re home alone watching Netflix on a Friday night with a bottle of wine.

And are perfectly content with that.

9. When you make the conscious decision to go to bed early.


10. When you learn that famous people are your age, if not younger.

Yet I can’t even pay for guac.

11. When you put together your own furniture.

Without it crumbling to pieces.

12. When wedding pictures and engagement photos flood your timeline.


13. When you cook something more difficult than mac and cheese.

And obviously have to send a pic to your mom.

14. When a new slang term gets added to the dictionary, and you have absolutely no idea what it means.

Plus, you’d sound ridiculous if you actually use it in conversation. “Yo, this club is lit!” No, just no.

15. When you’re at the mall on a Friday night and it’s like a playground for high schoolers and awkward first dates.


16. When you get excited about things like candles and decorative pillows.

17. When you have all day hangovers.

Which leads you to wonder what the point of drinking even is.

18. And finally, when you decide to join a gym because you realize that after four years of college, your body deserves some love.

But in all seriousness, give yourself a break. Enjoy this time before you’re a (gasp!) thirty-something. Imagine how much that’ll suck?

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