You Probably Don’t Want To Know How Many Calories You’ll Consume This Thanksgiving

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This Thanksgiving, we should all be grateful for cute elastic-waist pants.

Between the turkey, pie, stuffing, and copious amounts of wine, it’s no secret that Americans will go to bed with a very full stomach on Thanksgiving, but what’s the holiday season without some indulgence? Put those diet plans on hold until January 1 because Turkey Day is just the start of a month or so of delicious food. Don’t worry – spring break vacation is still months away.

So how many calories will the average human consume this Thanksgiving? Hint: it’s a lot. We break it down for you below.

1. Turkey (Dark) – 323 Calories; (White) – 180 Calories

Is it really Thanksgiving if you don’t cram down two or three slices of the bird your parents have been slaving over all day? Turkey is actually a great source of lean protein, but if you’re throwing gravy on there, you better add 50 calories to your calculations.

2. Bread Roll – 78 Calories

You can’t pass up those soft, flakey dinner rolls.

3. Stuffing – 356 Calories

One cup of stuffing will cost you 356 calories, but this classic can’t be passed up. Sorry not sorry.

4. Mashed Potatoes – 237 Calories

That’s the calorie count for one cup, not even including the gravy you smother it in.

5. Sweet Potato Casserole – 450 Calories

It seems like a lot, but how often do you get to treat yourself to this goodness?

6. Cranberry Sauce – 100 Calories

Cranberry sauce is hard to ration out because it just works with absolutely everything on the table, but try not to go overboard.

7. Green Bean Casserole – 68 Calories

As if you needed more of a reason to eat your veggies, this is probably the healthiest thing you’ll eat today by a long shot.

8. Pumpkin Pie – 316 Calories

That’s just for 1/8 of a 9″ pie. I know, life isn’t fair.

9. Apple Pie – 411 Calories 

Again, still just one slice of pie. Maybe this will work for lunch tomorrow?

10. Pecan Pie – 503 Calories

Who knew a different kind of pie could save you almost 200 calories? Whatever, today is a day to splurge.

11. Red Wine – 124 Calories

Multiply that 124 cals by how many glasses you have over the course of the day and you probably already have your average daily calorie intake. But hey, we need to deal with those annoying relatives somehow…

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