1. They. Are. Loud. And not just when they’re mad. This is an all the time kind of thing so you better get used to it. You won’t ever have to eavesdrop on her conversation. I guarantee it.
2. Family always comes first. Sorry sweetie, you had a Netflix and chill night planned? Her daddy just called and wants to see her. You’ll just have to wait. If her mami, papi, and the rest of the crew don’t like you, then adios amigo it is!
3. Be prepared to eat A LOT. I mean whatever they offer you, wherever you are, just take it and eat it. They love a boy who can eat.
4. If her aunt asks you when you’re going to get married, you better have an answer and no, it’s totally not weird.
5. You’ll be expected to keep up with the language. Leave the cringo at home. Plus, she finds it sexy when you try.
6. She wear the pants in the relationship #sorrynotsorry. Whatever she says goes, unless you want her to call her papi on you.
7. Don’t expect her to speak Spanish in bed. That sh*t gets real awkward, real fast.
8. Don’t expect her to call you “papi.” Do I even have to explain why this is a complete no-go?
9. They take forever to get ready. But when she’s finished, she’ll look so good you won’t be able to keep your eyes of her. I mean, have you ever seen someone rock red lipstick the way Latinas do? Didn’t think so!
10. If you ask her about her immigration status, be prepared to get beat. Just never assume. Please.
11. They have a bad attitude.
12. They ask a lot of questions and you better have an answer for every single one. I don’t know? What do you mean you “don’t know”?
13. Don’t call her “feisty.” Yes, we get it, we have an attitude, but if I’m not using that weird to describe myself, then neither should you.
14. She’ll be using the oven as extra storage for the pot and pans. It’s normal, I promise.
15. They binge watch telenovelas like you binge watch Netflix.
16. They season their food with Adobo or Sazon. Never heard of it? Well, good luck.
17. They always great with a kiss on the cheek. Yes, other guys too so if you’re the jealous type then you better find another.
18. She loves being a Latina. You better love it too.