WATCH: Real-Life Edward Scissorhands In Madrid Cuts Hair With Swords & Fire

I hate getting a haircut (unless it involves liquor). I only schedule an appointment when my ends are embarrassingly and undeniably fried, but even handing over a large sum of money one or twice a year for a look I hate seems like torture.
But you really want to talk about torture? Check out this real-life Edward Scissorhands.
Alberto Olmedo in Madrid has a hair salon where he trades in typical scissors for fire and swords as his tools, and the videos are as terrifying as they sound.
“Hairdressers usually cut one side, and then the other, and one side is always a bit different from the other. Even if it’s only a little bit,” he said. “The only way to it in an exact mathematical way is to cut both sides simultaneously.”
Watch him in action below.
You couldn’t pay me enough to get in that chair. Notice how they never ask the client how they like their new ‘do? Probably because the results are tragic.
Best case scenario: your hair looks like it got run over by a lawnmower.
Worse case scenario: your head gets cropped off.

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