Comedian Beth Stelling Shares Scary Details About Her Abusive Boyfriend In Powerful Instagram Post

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beth stelling

Beth Stelling/Instagram

Beth Stelling is known for making us laugh – just check out her Comedy Central special Simply the Beth which aired earlier this year – but her new Instagram post is nothing to joke about. Except…she does.

You see, Stelling uses her own life as inspiration for material. The comedian has joked about her abusive relationship with an ex-boyfriend on stage, and her fans have shown immense support. They’ve also asked her to continue spreading the scary truth.

Now, Beth is detailing her abuse and how hard it was to break from the relationship. She shared photos of her bruised legs and arms juxtaposed with her smiling on stage on Instagram.

See the full post below.

Same girl in all of these photos (me). I've had an amazing year and you've seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional. When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn't because I didn't love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it's not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn't seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It's embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It's not simple. After I broke up with him he said, "You're very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you're talking about." And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn't want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don't want revenge or to hurt him now, but it's unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It's how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I've always been; I make dark, funny. So now I'm allowing this to be part of my story. It's not my only story, so please don't let it be. If you live in L.A., you've already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity. An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that..

A post shared by Beth Stelling (@bethstelling) on

Here’s the full caption, which cuts off abruptly probably due to Instagram’s character limit:

“Same girl in all of these photos (me). I’ve had an amazing year and you’ve seen the highlights here, so these photos are an uncommon thing to share but not an uncommon issue. You may be weirded out but do read on. I have a point. There are many reasons not to make an abusive relationship public, mostly fear. Scared of what people will think, scared it makes me look weak or unprofessional.

When I broke up with my ex this summer, it wasn’t because I didn’t love him, it was because of this. And I absolutely relapsed and contacted him with things I shouldn’t have, but there are no “best practices” with this. When friends or comics ask why we broke up it’s not easy or comfortable to reply; it doesn’t seem like the appropriate thing to say at a stand-up show, a party or a wedding. It’s embarrassing. I feel stupid. After being verbally, physically abused and raped, I dated him for two more months. It’s not simple.

After I broke up with him he said, “You’re very open and honest in your stand-up, and I just ask that you consider me when you talk about your ex because everyone knows who you’re talking about.” And I abided. I wrote vague jokes because we both live in L.A. and I didn’t want to hurt him, start a war, press charges, be interrogated or harassed by him or his friends and family. I wanted to move on and forget because I didn’t understand. I don’t want revenge or to hurt him now, but it’s unhealthy to keep this inside because my stand-up is pulled directly from my life. It’s how I make my living. My personal is my professional. That is how I’ve always been; I make dark, funny.

So now I’m allowing this to be part of my story. It’s not my only story, so please don’t let it be. If you live in L.A., you’ve already started to hear my jokes about this and I ask you to have the courage to listen and accept it because I’m trying. Already since talking about this onstage, many women have come to me after shows asking me to keep doing it. Men have shown their solidarity.

An ex-girlfriend of this ex-boyfriend came to me and shared that she experienced the same fate. Then there was another and another (men and women) who shared other injustices at his hand that..”

Beth shared the rest in a follow-up post.

“shattered my belief that I was an exception. I am not alone; unfortunately I’m in a line of smart, funny women who experienced this from the same man in our L.A. comedy community. I couldn’t stay in our relationship waiting for it to happen again & I won’t keep it a secret any longer so that a future woman has a fair chance of avoiding it.

I don’t have all the answers. I’m doing my best to work through this. There are more stories out there from men & women and they don’t all involve getting raped by a stranger in an alley. Many are crapes (the coziest kind) in the comfort of your own bed.”

We’re glad Beth had the courage to get out of that relationship. And it looks like she has a great support system now.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or visit thehotline.org.

COLLEGECANDY Writer
COLLEGECANDY Writer
Probably busy watching puppy videos on Instagram.
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