It’s safe to say we all have our fail stories when it comes to sex. I’ve heard some so horrific that I don’t know how these people ever crawl into bed with another human again. But Redditor 2OLD2DRINK‘s sex story will definitely blow any embarrassing moment you’ve had in the bedroom out of the water. She took to Reddit’s TIFU (Today I F*cked Up) section to share her story.
To make sense this story needs a little background. As a kid I got into the wrong crowd of older kids (I was about 13 and they were about 16) and began dating one. I got pregnant at 14 and gave birth at 15. I gave the child up for adoption because I couldn’t abort due to my very religious parents but we were too young and poor to keep the child.
After that I stopped hanging around with that group, half out of awkwardness of my ex who jumped ship the minute he realised I was pregnant, and half because that made me realise they weren’t very good, supportive friends. I cleaned myself up, found some good friends, got an education and eventually got a job.
Which brings me to today. I’m 36 and have been single for about a year. A couple of my girl friends are also single so we often go to a bar to release ourselves from the stresses of life on a Friday or Saturday night.
They regularly try to get me to go home with someone as they know I’m lonely. This means often when it’s one of their turns to get drinks they’ll chat to a guy at the bar and talk me up, pointing me out and telling them to go give me a drink (that sometimes they bought rather than the guy). I appreciate the gesture but usually turn them away.
This particular day, however, I was in a “f*ck it” mood because I had just found out my ex had gotten engaged. Only a year after breaking up with me. And that he had been cheating the whole time (and that I was the ‘other woman’ as he had been with her longer).
This brings me to my f*ck up. As per usual a guy comes walking over with a drink in hand as my friend at the bar beckons my other friend and they watch from there. This guy is younger than my friends usually choose for me, I guess about mid 20s. He also looks strangely familiar. I figure what the hell because why not? I’m single and he seems interested so I may as well.
Well one thing leads to another and I get into a cab with him to his place. Along the way I ask him if he doesn’t mind being with an ‘older woman’ and he says something along the lines of “hell no I like a woman with experience”. I ask how old he is and he says he’s 21, just. I think wow, that’s younger than I thought, but carry on anyway.
We’re at his place and he leaves me in the living room as he says he wants to tidy his room quickly. Okay, whatever, I get it that some guys are messy especially if they weren’t expecting company.
While waiting for him I look around the place. I see some photos on display, one is him in his graduation cap and gown between two people about my age or a little older. I ask “Aw are these your parents?” to which he replies “Yeah. They adopted me when I was a kid”
And that’s when I realised. I question him about where he’s from, if he knows his real parents etc etc.. We’re going to do a DNA test to confirm it but I’m like 90% sure I found my son. There’s a story to tell the girls.
Tl;Dr: Tried to be a couger and picked up my son.
It could have been worse, I suppose – he could have been under 18…and they could have realized their connection after the fact. Have to look at the bright side.