At 18-years-old, my lack of a suitable boyfriend seemed to be all that was on my mind. Sure, I was gearing up to go to the college of my dreams and escaping the high school of my nightmares. But that was not enough. I wanted someone to share this exciting time with, and I wanted someone to share me with. But after a few years of dating, I’ve come out wiser.
Here are 10 things I wish I could go back and tell myself about boys.
It’s Okay to Be the Girl Without the Prom Date
At 18, I was getting ready to go to prom and to graduate high school. Prom was to be attended with a group of friends instead of my dream Prince Charming of a date. Yes, I was the only member of the friend group going stag, but it was still possible to have a great time and to meet new people. Not having a prom date is no precursor to how you’ll live in college either. Remember that.
Sometimes, Being Alone is the Best Medicine
Despite being surrounded by many friends, it can still feel lonely if you find yourself to be the only one not in a committed relationship. This loneliness can be a blessing in disguise. You’re free to date as many people as you want, or to just spend time focusing on some majorly important self-love.
You Aren’t Alone in This World (Even if it Feels That Way)
So you’re eighteen and you don’t have a boyfriend, or maybe you’ve never had a boyfriend. That doesn’t mean you walk this earth completely by yourself. Think of all the family and friends that love you, not to mention all the amazing people you’re about to meet in the greatest adventure so far- college!
Your Life Isn’t Over Just Because You Don’t Have a Boyfriend
It may seem that your friends and classmates are on different pages in their relationships, but doesn’t mean that where you’re at is wrong. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend or your dream prom date doesn’t mean you are finishing high school as a social pariah, and it is not an indicator that anything is wrong with you.
No Boy Is Worth Putting Yourself on Hold For
Maybe you’re finally dating your dream man, but something seems amiss. But it seems that your grades are slipping, or you don’t spend time with your friends. Maybe your family doesn’t like him or he doesn’t support you chasing your dreams. No man is worth putting your life on pause for. If he doesn’t support you, he’s not the one.
You Can Have Different Soulmates in Life
Sometimes the universe brings you the right people at the right time. The boy who got you through high school might not be the person who stands by your side through college, and that’s okay. Life has a funny way of bringing the right people in your life when you need them. It’s okay to have different soul mates at different phases of your life.
Love Will Come When You Least Expect It
You could meet him in class, on Tinder, or at a party, but when you finally fall in love, it’ll take you by surprise and hit you like a ton of bricks. If you spend all your time searching restlessly for that special someone, they’ll never come. Relax and let the universe do its job.
Focus On You
At eighteen years old, you are at a pivotal cross point in your life. You are no longer a child and you are about to enter a new phase in your existence. Decide on the person you want to be, and narrow down some dreams and goals before you dedicate your time to finding someone to share your entire life with. Make sure you’re confident with who you are, before settling down with someone else.
There’s No Need to Rush
At the young age of eighteen, there is no need to begin that hunt for your other half. While you may meet them at this ripe age, they may be out there for future-you to discover. Enjoy the time to be young and have fun.
Find Someone Who Will Grow With You
Before starting college, your whole world is about to change. Your friend groups will shift, you’ll meet more new people then you can count, and most importantly, your interests will rapidly shape and develop. Make sure any person you are with is growing with you, and supporting you on this wonderful journey.