Tituss Burgess Just Left The Most Epic Review On Yelp

Titus Burgess

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You know him from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. You know his character is a sassy, no-nonsense guy. Turns out, the fictional Titus Andromedon and the real Tituss Burgess have a lot in common.

Tituss experienced a crappy interaction with a moving in New York City, mostly because moving companies all suck and are late and break your belongings then charge you $500. Well, he took his grievances to Yelp, hoping to save another customer from the torment (and probably just to vent a little bit).

“My name is Tituss Burgess. Im an Emmy Nominated Actor forUnbreakable Kimmy Schmidt currently streaming on netflix. Thats besides the point.But watch it,” the review begins. “These guys are the absolute most UNPROFESSIONAL workers I have EVER DEALT WITH.”

Burgess continues: “I called this man this morning. We chatted. He said he could move my couch at 1pm which was the time I requested. 1:30 still no movers. I called back and he says I will give you a discount…I said ok. He says but you have to post a review on yelp. I said when you complete the job i will complete the review. FOR THE FOLLOWING I HAVE THE ENTIRE TEXT EXCHANGE SAVED. He texts saying no review no show. This went on for about 45 minutes. It Completely threw my entire day. I called him about 9 times but he wouldnt pick up but he somehow was capable of texting. DO NOT USE THIS COMPANY. Im going to post this to twitter to my instagram to my facebook. You messed with the wrong Queen. #franksexpress #Igotcha #lizaminelli #Iamgonnamakeavideoaboutyoubecauseofthedeepangerif­eel #DONOTTHREATENMEIWILLWIN.”

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Franks Express has apologized – sorta.

“Dear Tituss! We are very sorry for fatal misunderstanding,” the statement on the Franks Express website reads. “But we have never spoken with you by phone. We never reserve our trucks and crews via phone. It is rule! Our process is next: a customer send us request via website thn a customer must confirm a move plan via email. If you have phone number, saved chat and messages please provide us. We never ask our customer about good reviews before a move. And of course our dispatcher never threatens to our customers. We are very small Company and we watch our reputation. It would be an honor to help Tituss Burgess for us. We would try to do our best.”

Hmm…somehow I don’t think that’s going to cut it. RIP, Franks Express.

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