He’s baaaack. Well, not anymore.
Today in not surprising news, arguably the most hated man in the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise – Chad Johnson – went on Bachelor In Paradise for another shot at love and f*cked it up. Like so so badly. Pretty sure he was more into actual shots, tbh.
If you watched Chad on JoJo’s season of The Bachelorette, you would know a few fun facts about him. 1. He has super veiny arms. 2. He eats a lot of meat. 3. He once threatened to cut everyone’s arms and legs off. Quite the charmer, huh?
On Tuesday, season 3 of Bachelor In Paradise premiered and all of us were hopeful that a new Chad would emerge – calm, cool, and genuinely looking to fall in love. To say we were wrong is an understatement.
The way the two-hour show was filmed made it seem like Chad was there for less than 24 hours before stirring the pot and getting the boot. His entrance was dramatic with birds screeching and haunting music. After first apologizing to Evan – the infamous erectile dysfunction man also from JoJo’s season – it all went downhill from there.
Chad said of Evan: “I didn’t murder him, so that’s good. I didn’t rip his head off and shove it down his own mouth. Like yeah, I still kind of want to rip his head off and throw it in the water.”
It wasn’t until later that night that things really got out of hand. Lace – probably the only girl who could ever rival Chad’s craziness – seemed to hit it off with him and they started a serious make-out sesh. But as they got more and more drunk, they became more and more aggressive.
“You know how rats have a lot of sex and they multiply a lot but they also eat each other? Chad and Lace,” said Nick. He’s not wrong.
At one point, Chad threatened to throw Lace under a bus and “duct-tie” her up. He also called her a b*tch. It was then she seemed to come to her senses, and the rest of the cast wasn’t having it.
As he lay on the ground, Chad said, “I’ll murder everyone here. I’ll kill your children and murder your family. Dolla, dolla bills, yo.” He also said, “F— that one-armed b*tch” to Sarah, who was born with only the upper half of her arm due to a condition known as amniotic band syndrome. “You suck that d—,” he continued. “Keeping sucking that d—. Keep sucking that fame.” She walked away crying and the rest followed.
The next day, host Chris Harrison sat everyone down and told Chad he has to go, yet for some reason, I don’t think we’ve seen the last of him.
Can someone just punch this dude in the face already?