Police in Warren, Ohio received a 911 call about two men who were “running around the lot taking off their clothes” in the local branch of the DMV on Friday. It’s probably not the weirdest thing to ever happen in a DMV (or Ohio), but, anyway…
When officers arrived on the scene, they found only one of the men, Timothy Cook, 32, “acting like a gorilla.” How does one “act like a gorilla”? Well, according to the police report, Cook was “squatting on all fours, punching the blacktop and jumping up and down screaming non-coherently.” Sounds pretty gorilla-like to me.
Cook, a witness told police, had entered a state motor vehicles office, waving his arms around and generally acting weird. Cook then exited the building and “began masturbating on the sidewalk.” Employees quickly locked the doors of the DMV behind him, due to “safety concerns.” The people inside had a front row seat to watch the show until the police arrived.
Cook was detained without (further) incident and an ambulance was called “due to his erratic behavior.” Paramedics began treating Cook for an apparent overdose, though the records don’t indicate which drug (or drugs) he may have used before he was taken to the hospital. Officers have since found that Cook had an outstanding warrant for drug possession, but due to manpower shortages, the warrant was still active.
And what about the other man?
Well, an officer found the guy, Osmond LeMasters, 24, walking along the road leading from the plaza. Both men have been charged with disorderly conduct while intoxicated.
Harambe is rolling over in his grave.