One of the pitfalls of modern dating is the latest method of breaking up: ghosting. You might be waiting by the phone after a date or texting him to no reply, but either way, blink and you missed it. He’s gone. Ghosting is an all too common method of leaving a relationship with specific discussion or conversation, but simply cutting off all communication and ending things with silence.
To put it shortly, being ghosted sucks. It involves unanswered texts or calls and a lot of really ambiguous stress. The worst part of all is that it could be easily solved with a simple conversation. It can be pretty shocking and unexpected, but there are some red flags that you may be about to be ghosted.
Here are five foolproof signs that you’re being ghosted (or about to be) and how to make sure you’re guarding yourself in the face of the modern breakup method. Ghosts don’t have to be so scary.
1. You’re being flat-out ignored.
This one is obvious. You know that someone is ghosting you when they’re blatantly ignoring you. If the read receipts are there, make sure you take the warning signs and don’t give them anymore reading material. You might have your texts read, your calls forwarded, or any of your social media mentions left unanswered, but the key is to stop adding fuel to the fire and let go. If someone wants to talk and communicate, they will. For now, make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.
2. You’ve been unfollowed.
He may have gone from liking your photos to unfollowing you completely. This one of the most snake-like signs of being ghosted, so avoid anyone petty enough to consider a social media unfollow an adequate communication of the end of a possible relationship. You deserve someone who thinks you’re worth more than being dismissed with an unfollow.
3. There’s no interest in hanging out.
You notice that when you make plans with him, he no longer cares enough to solidify or pull his weight in hanging out. You might suggest an activity to apathy or lame excuses about not having enough time. Be understanding about tough schedules, but don’t let anyone make you feel as though you’re bothering them with activities that you both used to enjoy. If someone is making you feel guilty or clingy for wanting to spend a little time together, they’re clearly heading in the wrong direction for creating something serious.
4. Everything you say is wrong.
Though healthy discussion is totally fine, it’s a sign of bad things to come when every single thing you say to someone seems up for dissection or worth an argument. When he replies, he’s combative and unable to just have a simple conversation without a strangely misplaced tone of resentment. The next step in this cycle will most likely be ghosting, because it’s clear that healthy communication isn’t something that he values in a relationship. Stand up for yourself and if you’re uncomfortable then don’t be afraid to communicate your desire to end the relationship.
5. You don’t feel the chemistry anymore.
Maybe things are going alright, but it just isn’t the same. If you’re not feeling flirty or excited, it might not be worth pursuing. Maybe both of you are busy or the timing just isn’t right, but make sure that you are able to say that things aren’t going in the same direction. If he seems distracted or as though he’s not interested, then let it be known that you can sense the disconnect.