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Trust me, the last thing I want to talk about right now are babies. Every time an old classmates Instagrams a “cute” snap of their kid on a Friday night, I’m reminded why I diligently pop a pill each and every day at noon sharp.
However, I’ve always been fascinated by names — their meanings, if people match what they’re called, nicknames. And I’m a sucker for any Buzzfeed article about the most popular names of today, even if it’s just so I can judge people on how many ways they find to spell “Jasmine.”
Turns out, Avas and Noahs are knocking out the likes of Carols and Dereks. While it’s inevitable that there will be another Stephanie literally anywhere I go, I don’t see anything wrong with a classic name.
So when I came across “Classic Names at Risk of Becoming Extinct,” I had to click and see if I was happy to see them go. Check them out below.
1. Angela
Given that Angela got kicked off night one of The Bachelor this season, seems fair enough.
2. Bertrum
No child should have to bear this name. Sorry.
3. Beverly
But then no one with the last name Hills can make their child hate them forever!
4. Carol
Is there anyone nowadays that doesn’t have an Aunt Carol?
5. Cecil
Considering all the photos I could find of Cecil B. DeMille were in black and white, yeah, this is an old name.
6. Clarence
No one wants to name their kid over the ghost…er, angel….in It’s a Wonderful Life?
7. Clive
Actually, I think they’re wrong on this one. Mark my words, Clives will make a comeback in 2054.
8. Cyril
This is made up.
9. Debra
I think Debs have had their day.
10. Diane
Again, doesn’t everyone have an Aunt Diane?
11. Donna
That ’70s Show is calling.
12. Dean
Another one I’m gonna predict isn’t going anywhere for long.
13. Doris
AKA every old woman in a movie ever.
14. Dennis
My grammar school was St. Denis. It closed three years ago.
15. Derek
Derek Jeter is going to be the inspiration for future hot babies for years to come.
16. Duncan
Given that this king didn’t last long in Macbeth, I’m guessing it’s not the top of many parents’ lists.
17. Elaine
Too much Seinfeld associated with this one.
18. Ernest
Yeah, no.
19. Geoffrey
Good. I can’t stand when letters act like other letters.
20. Horace
Let’s not.
21. Joanne
Perhaps Lady Gaga will give this name a boost?
22. Leonard
Needs to go.
23. Maureen
I can’t even picture an infant named Maureen. Only women in their 50s.
24. Malcolm
Actually a good dog name.
25. Nigel
Blaming Nigel Thornberry for this one.
26. Neville
Longbottom?
27. Paula
Abdul?
28. Roy
Rogers?
29. Sally
Aw, like any teenager from the ’50s!
30. Sandra
“Look at me, I’m Sandra D!”
31. Sharon
Yup. Going extinct like the dodo.
32. Sheila
Maybe put this one on the endangered species list, but it can be released back in the wild someday.
33. Tracey
Just reminds me of a chubby girl who has inhaled too much hairspray nowadays.
34. Wendy
Yum.
35. Yvonne
…is gone.
36. Wayne
Another one I think has a chance to survive, possibly after a celebrity names their baby girl it.
Are you happy to see these names disappear? Let us know in the comments.
