This past Friday, Feminista Jones sparked a conversation about women agreeing with men’s compliments of them, and why the heck that seems to offend them so much. Author, activist and full-time social worker, Jones uses her social media platforms to contribute to discussions on women’s issues (especially women of color). She jokingly tweeted that her followers should “piss off a man by agreeing with [their] compliment of you,” and the internet jumped right onboard.
Piss a man off today: Tell him you agree with his compliment of you.
— #DontForgetTheHomeless (@FeministaJones) May 12, 2017
I've had SEVERAL men tell me they found "thanks" an offensive reply to a compliment given to a woman 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
— #DontForgetTheHomeless (@FeministaJones) May 13, 2017
Jones was inspired by the many articles floating around online about this phenomenon, as well as her own experiences. Personally, she appreciates the “tongue-in-cheek” method of addressing the issue.
“It’s not a new idea, but in my own experience when [a man] complimented me and I say ‘I agree,’ they get upset,” Jones said in an interview with BuzzFeed News. “It’s the idea that they bestow the compliment on you, and you’re not supposed to be aware of it.”
Other women immediately began responding to her tweet with their own experiences and some even included screenshots!
Works every time pic.twitter.com/uUWMAnCtGv
— shego (@afrawlmiau) May 12, 2017
Some were pretty funny…
LOL one of my fave past times since college:
Dude: "You're beautiful"
Me: "I know."
Dude: "!!! ugly bitch"
Like, I have a mirror lol byee
— Awake Black Woman (@AwakeBlackWoman) May 12, 2017
… While others were mildly enraging.
Ill always remember when I was 12 and my guy told me I was smart and I said 'thanks I know' and he goes "Ew youre so cocky" https://t.co/F6dyXawA79
— mausy f imo (@kokedemagain) May 13, 2017
It may be entertaining at a glance, but it is obvious that this trend is rooted in some seriously toxic beliefs. What’s even sadder is that we really don’t have to look far to see examples of this mentality in the media.
Reminds me of all those repulsive pop songs with the premise that a woman is beautiful because she lacks self esteem. https://t.co/VAYP4r8wFj
— 🆂🅴🆅🅴🅽 (@daisy20071) May 12, 2017
We should be encouraging women to love themselves as they are and actively appreciate their assets. It’s wrong to say that a woman should only acknowledge her own virtues when pointed out by a man, and that said virtues lack value when she herself has come to love them. What are your thoughts on this disturbing mentality?