Admit it: We all love a good dad joke.
The dad joke is an art in and of itself. Only a dad can get away telling these terrible jokes that in its nature literally cannot be funny. The trick behind this infamous humor is that it has to be something you should see coming but for some reason don’t. And let’s face it, they’re a little bit embarrassing to laugh at.
In honor of Father’s Day, here are 30 of the best and lamest dad jokes. They’re so bad it’s almost funny.
1. “What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.”
2. “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
4. “What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”
Haha, not going to lie this one made me giggle.
This is golden.
6. “A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, ‘Sorry we don’t serve food here.'”
This is amazing.
What a knee-slapper…
This is great.
I don’t think that’s how it works.
11. “What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.”
Who knew pasta could be so funny?
Apparently bathroom humor doesn’t disappear with age.
You know it’s bad when the dad jokes start infiltrating the office.
15. Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.
We’ve all heard this one before.
16. “I’ll call you later. Don’t call me later, call me Dad.”
17. “Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.”
18. “What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto.”
They just keep getting better.
19. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
I don’t know about you but I am currently picturing penguins using Elmer’s Glue to build their igloo and it is a hysterical sight.
20. “The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.”
So funny, I almost missed the joke.
22. “I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.”
23. “A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.”
Yeah this is pretty bad.
24. “What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.”
25. “People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.”
26. “I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.”
It never gets old.
27. Son: “Where are my sunglasses?” Dad: “I don’t know…where are my dad glasses?”
28. “Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.”
29. “You shouldn’t kiss anyone on January 1st because it’s only the first date.”
My dad’s personal favorite is telling me I am not allowed to date until I am married.
30. “Want to hear my pizza joke? Never mind, it’s too cheesy.”
Oh boy, this one outdoes itself.
31. “You know what we should do after dinner? We should go to Compton and then get straight out of it!”
Here’s an original from my dad. I will never forget this moment. We were out to dinner in LA trying to figure out what to do for the rest of the night. I almost lost it when he said this. It was so bad I did not even know if he was joking.