James Charles made headlines as CoverGirl’s very first CoverBoy and now he’s taking a step away from the thing that made him famous: makeup.
Charles has been the subject of a few controversies in the past, whether it’s being the subject of a meme or facing backlash for some offensive tweets. The 18-year-old is a polarizing figure in the beauty world, with many calling out his attitude, his skills and his maturity level.
It seems as though Charles is feeling the pressure, though he says it’s been a lack of inspiration leading him away from YouTube. He detailed his struggles in a series of Snapchat videos, shown beginning at 4:35 in the video below.
In the video, an emotional Charles talks about how he needs to “take a break from filming and from doing makeup.”
“I’ve been trying to film a lot recently and literally every single time I film it has turned out so bad and I just have been so unhappy with it and it’s just destroying me on the inside, which sounds so f*cking ridiculous,” Charles said.
Charles laments that he’s tired of doing “glam looks” and “reviews.”
“My heart is in creative makeup and recently I have been so f*cking uninspired and so unhappy with what I’ve been putting out,” he continued. “Forcing the creativity is destroying me mentally. I don’t know what I want to do with my channel. I don’t know what I wanna be filming. I don’t know what content I want to produce. I just don’t know.”
Charles also explained needing to step away from the “hobby” that turned into a full-time and highly-successful “job.”
“Makeup is my hobby and it’s also my job, and I’m so thankful for that, but the second it starts feeling like a job and not like a hobby anymore is when I need to reevaluate what I’m doing on a daily basis,” Charles said. “Right now it’s feeling like a f*cking 9 to 5 job that I dread going to every single day and it’s not fun anymore.”
Charles also tweeted about his emotions and later thanked his fans for their support.
Charles assured his fans that he’d be back.
For now, it doesn’t seem as though the history-making CoverBoy will be creating videos, though time will tell.