Healthy relationships are all about give and take. There’s simply no such thing as the perfect partner, so we make sacrifices where we can. Dating sites like Match and eHarmony have helped us better understand out own preferences and what we’re willing to compromise. Heck, I thought I had the patience of a saint after dealing with my ex-boyfriend for seven years. Sadly what I didn’t notice at the time was that it was less “compromise” and more “ignoring the problem”. Give and take isn’t only a one way street, as I learned too late. If you’re in a relationship, step back and think. What are you willing to put up with?
A study conducted by Superdrug Online Doctor has revealed how high our standards can be from time to time.
Everyone has a preference. It’s not always about race or gender. Sometimes it all comes down to a person’s quirks and abilities. Are they a good cook? Are they a tidy person? Do they maintain a healthy lifestyle? If you have “a type” it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re shallow. In fact, there may be countless others that share your opinion. Researchers surveyed 1,500 Europeans and Americans in a sort of “Would you Rather” manner. Participants were asked:
“Would you prefer your partner to be great in bed or…”
The results were somewhat surprising. Compared to Americans, nearly 73% of European men cared more about their partner being great in bed compared to being a good cook. I suppose take-out is always an option, but where’s the fun in that? Comparatively, over 50% of American men would choose a skillful bed companion over a tidy one. It appears that a romp in the sheets takes priority for most men, but I can’t blame them.
On the female side of the spectrum, most European and American women valued romantic gestures over a night of passion. What can I say? We like to feel appreciated outside the bedroom, too.
However, Europeans and Americans of both genders could agree that they cared more about their partner being a great communicator compared to being skilled in bed. Communication is the key to any healthy relationship, after all.
Researchers decided to raise the stakes a little higher and gave participants another “Would You Rather” set of scenarios.
Ironically enough, 66% of men would rather date someone who forgot their anniversary than date someone that only lasted a minute in bed. Comparatively, women were more closely split with 46% of them still willing to date someone quick to finish compared to a forgetful partner.
One data point I wasn’t too surprised about was the next question on the list. Both genders (especially men at a whopping 78% approval rate) would rather have a partner that wanted sex more often compared to someone who wanted it less. There’s nothing wrong with not wanting sex, but I can’t deny the perks of a partner that was more than willing for a fun night under the sheets.
All in all, romance shouldn’t have to replace sex and vice versa. Just because I like romantic gestures doesn’t mean I don’t want some action in the bedroom. Likewise, just because I can get quite motivated in the bedroom doesn’t mean you have to stop treating me like a lady in public.
Science has showed us what we’re willing to put up with while we’re still in a relationship, but what about when we decide to end them? Superdrug Online Doctor also asked participants what it would take for them to end their long-term relationships, and the people have spoken.
For women, the top two reasons they would end their relationships are when their partner does not compliment them and when they stopped having dates. I hate to admit it, but the data hit pretty close to home with my past relationship… Men on the other hand focused on the more physical aspects of the relationship. 8% of men were more likely to break it off with their partner if they did not perform oral sex on their partner, and nearly 7% would break it off if they had a low libido.
I will say it time and time again: everyone has their preferences. There’s no such thing as the perfect partner, which is why we talk to each other. Let your partner know your pet peeves and ask what theirs are in return. Communication is key to cultivating a long-lasting relationship, so sit down with your partner while you still can. It’s much easier to air out grievances early rather than later.