How To Host The Ultimate Friendsgiving

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For the most part, the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving are a stressful cocktail of anxiety and dread. The thought of having to mingle with estranged cousins and explaining gun control reform to your politically challenged uncle is not anyone’s idea of fun.

Thankfully, we have been blessed with the innovative, liquor-fueled millennial tradition that is now known as Friendsgiving. At Friendsgiving, you don’t have to worry about discovering who your favorite aunt voted for after desperately avoiding the subject for a year. At Friendsgiving, you don’t have to take your “walk” before dinner. At Friendsgiving, you can comfortably enjoy all the holiday food and liquor without the scrutiny of your extended family.

Here are the five crucial tips for hosting a successful Friendsgiving.

1. Have everyone bring a prepared, finished dish.

For the sake of not having to slave away in the kitchen for five hours only to pull out a scorched turkey from the oven, have everyone bring a dish that is already cooked and ready to eat. Obviously nobody’s expecting you to whip up Betty Crocker’s three-layer pumpkin cheesecake complete with a homemade graham cracker crust and unicorn blood, but with that being said, PLEASE do not pull up with Cheetos as your contribution to the feast.

2. Bring. Liquor.

The most CRUCIAL part of a successful Friendsgiving is ensuring you have an adequate, never-ending supply of liquor. Buy wine in bulk and don’t forget to spike your eggnog and apple cider.

3. Be sure to factor in dietary restrictions.

Yeah, your grandma might refuse to cook greens in anything but chicken broth because it’s a “tradition,” but this isn’t a traditional Thanksgiving. Make sure to cater to people’s dietary restrictions if they have any, because the last thing you want to do is invite a gluten-intolerant person to your feast only for them to find out that they can’t even eat anything. Let’s make Friendsgiving even more inclusive and welcoming than traditional Thanksgiving!

4. Introduce new traditions.

If you think turkey is dumb, don’t make it. Serve ham, chicken, a roasted pumpkin, who cares!? Skip giving thanks and play Cards Against Humanity instead. Thanksgiving traditions don’t have to be Friendsgiving traditions. This is the one holiday where you can LITERALLY invent whatever kind of traditions you want.

5. Remember that this is a PARTY.

Ok, this isn’t your usual annual family Thanksgiving dinner. You have actual Thanksgiving for that. Don’t stress about how long the mac and cheese is going to take to cook or what time dinner is supposed to be. This is a PARTY more than anything, and your goal as a host should just be to make sure that everyone is enjoying themselves and having fun.

Happy Friendsgiving!