The Privacy Terms & Conditions of every social platform should come with rules and regulations of what not to do. As much as I hate to admit it, I sometimes scroll down my timeline and find myself mocking the ridiculous photos that the people I follow post. I don’t know why I care but it’s a “Sign of the Times” (shoutout to Harry Styles). Aside from being named “Best Social Media Presence,” in my high school yearbook (I wish I was kidding) I really am no expert but I have a few tips on how to make us all hate you a little bit less.
Live Your Best Life But Make Sure Its A Genuine One
Don’t self-proclaim yourself as a “Public Figure.” If you haven’t won an Emmy, been invited to the White House or thrust yourself into the forefront of public social or political controversies in order to influence the resolution of the issues at hand, you can’t claim that. Your photo may have made someone’s afternoon, but that’s not a public service.
“Name a more iconic duo, I’ll wait,” you won’t be waiting long. Peanut-butter and Jelly, Mary-Kate and Ashley, Fire and Oil, Kylie Jenner and Blac Chyna, literally anybody but you and your sorority sister.
“Your favorite siblings,” I don’t disagree that your brother is a good-looking fella but that caption really makes me itchy. My favorite siblings are Raven and Corey Baxter, so please don’t try to tell me otherwise.
Oversharing your feelings. I get that therapy is expensive and online communities offer support but you’re less likely to get sympathy when you’re trying to get people to feel bad for you.
Oversharing your assets – and I’m not talking about your ass. We all like nice things and we all have something but posting a picture of every designer item you see and own won’t make Alex from Target find you any more attractive. If you want to be a Kardashian in a post here and there, we’ll let it rock, but every day? Enough.
Finals week: “where I’d rather be” posts. You mean, you’d rather be on the beach in Cancun than sitting in the library pulling all-night study sessions? You’re not the only one, honey.
Fitness journey posts won’t offset the fact that we saw you snorting pizza and drowning your breakup in tequila last Saturday. You’re inspiring but do it for you, not the Instagram likes.
Hating and attacking people, much like I am right now (hypocrisy at its finest). But hear me out, going on a rant that exploits the discrepancies you find in other people via Twitter, does not stop them from doing it anyway. Your future employer will check your accounts and now you just look unstable.
Instructing your followers to like your photos for no reason. If someone “likes” your picture they will “like” it. Likes do not validate a person and requesting likes on your Instagram post through your Instagram story is time and effort you could spend in a productive place.
Snapchatting entire events. Live in the moment and be more concerned with the experience for yourself than documenting it for your followers.
Take it from me, or don’t take it from me but I’m for the people. This list is brought to you by the complaints of my best friend, my college bestie who loves to rip people’s social media accounts, my mother who doesn’t even really know what she’s looking at half the time and the advice or constructive criticism I’ve received over the years.