Text Messages We Need To Leave Behind In 2017

2017 was the year of unsolicited dick pics and “wyd”s. Fuckboys worldwide have succeeded in making literally no advancement in trying to hide their intentions of getting us in bed. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with pursuing a hookup instead of a relationship with someone. But we can at least make an effort to weed out these annoying, redundant text messages that we have all received. Here’s how to not text somebody that you’re trying to pursue.


1. “wyd”

OMG yas, the first thing I want to wake up to is a thoughtful, genuine consideration for what I’m doing.

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Sir, what are YOU doing?! Also, the fact that you’ve made literally no effort to even spell it out shows that you give zero effort about pursuing me. Even a “What are you up to right now? We should hang” would suffice. Baby steps, guys.


2. “Come over”

Ok yeah, I’m getting out of my bed immediately to go to your house!

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The lack of effort in stringing together a basic sentence of “hey, do you want to come over today?” is just a turnoff. Do you really think that we’re about to drag ourselves out of bed to go Netflix and chill at your house when you send us this text? Very rarely will that everĀ happen. This text is lazy and we need to do better y’all.


3. “Send Nudes”

What better way to make yourself look like an ass than to start off the convo with “send nudes”? Please, there are more creative ways to sext than using the most unoriginal, eye-roll inducing text of all time.


4. Nudes in General

UNSOLICITED PENIS PICTURES ARE HARASSMENT.

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Please, if we did not ask for a picture, do not send one. Also, sending unwanted nudes is the number one way to get yourself dragged by at least five other homegirls who will all now be collectively clowning you.


5. “You first”

Now please explain to me why in the hell I would want to waste my time going back and forth with you over who should send a nude picture first. Are we in the third grade? Just send the damn picture and carry along.


6. “:)”

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The number one way to make yourself look like a pervert. We have emojis now, so why are you doing this? The time that you’ve taken to spell out an emoji that could’ve been sent with one click of a button is creepy and worrying.


7. “Do you smoke?”

Asking somebody if they smoke is just code for “come to my house to have sex”. You’re not slick. Just be upfront with your intentions instead of trying to act like you genuinely care about someone’s recreational use of marijuana.


8. “Hi”

Hi? What is this, AIM??

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We are leaving all these messages in 2017 and if we receiveĀ one of these, then be prepared to be left on read.

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