When Wu-Tang rapped “cash rules everything around me,” in the 1993 song “C.R.E.A.M.” they may have been onto something. Money talks. Money is power. Money can bring out the best in us and sometimes the worst in us. And with all that can be said about the power of money, unfortunately, money is also the top relationship killer for couples today.
Talking about your coin and money moves when you’re a couple can get downright awkward and uncomfortable AF. Because we all come from different financial backgrounds, have a different budget and spending habits and handle money differently, it can be hard to talk money with your partner without it turning into a World War. So many couples, whether married, dating or just living together break up over arguments about money.
But talking about money doesn’t have to necessarily cause an all-out war between you and your partner and you and bae can avoid a potential break up over your “dollar, dollar bills.” Just take a look at these five common arguments couples have about finances and how you can avoid having to put out a burning inferno in the making.
1. When You’re A Saver And Your Partner Is A Spender.
When a couple decides to join forces financially and split the bills and expenses, looking at both of your spending habits and how you both budget is crucial. Unfortunately, what couples quickly find out is that sometimes, you and your partner have vastly different approaches when it comes to spending money versus saving money.
Issues often arise between couples when one person has a more care-free and frivolous approach when it comes to spending money (these people often justify their spending habits with the phrase Y.O.L.O.), while the other person is more “spend-conscious” and prefers to save whatever extra money they get for a rainy day. When couples get into arguments about saving versus spending it’s important to make sure that neither one is trying to prove to the other one that their way of living is better. Instead, try and talk it out and see where one another is coming from. Work more on a compromise and less on trying to change your partner’s views on how they handle money.
2. Who Brings Home The Most Bacon.
Many people equate money with power, so the more money one makes, the more power they may feel they have. Couples sometimes find themselves at odds with one another over who holds the most power (a.k.a. who makes more money), which can cause some friction when it comes to deciding who pays for what and who contributes more financially.
To avoid getting into arguments around this topic, it’s important to continually keep an open dialog about your long-term financial goals TOGETHER as a couple and to make sure that you’re both making financial decisions toward that shared vision and your goals.
3. Managing Debt.
No couple likes to talk about their debt with anyone let alone their S.O., be that as it may, if you are in a committed relationship with your partner, talking about your debt with one another is a crucial convo to have. Unfortunately, what winds up happening is that couples wind up biting the dust over the differences with said debt down the line. Instead of playing the “blame game” with one another over the debt you both have accrued, instead, you both should focus on changing your mindset on the matter. Try and think of it as a joint debt and work on trying to figure out how you’ll pay it off together. Teamwork makes the dream work.
4. Planning For Emergencies.
Couples find themselves at odds when it comes to financial planning for emergencies when there is a lack of communication. Instead of putting off the convo, schedule a time where you both can talk about and plan how you’ll go about dealing with emergencies in the future. Laying out a plan and covering every possible or potential detail down to examples of what equates a financial crisis to how you’ll communicate and spend on said emergency is crucial to avoiding a likely argument. Try and keep an open mind when you both are planning for emergencies and don’t be afraid to seek help from a financial counselor if need be.
5. Joining Accounts.
Joining accounts is a huge step to take as a couple because you’re basically saying “What’s mine is yours” when it comes to your money. Things can get sticky down the line sometimes especially if one person is dipping their hand in the cookie jar more than the other or you both aren’t on the same page when it comes to contributing to the joint account(s). To avoid any potential big blow-ups, many couples are opting for a middle ground approach, with both keeping some money in individual accounts and also saving a certain amount in a joint account.