First dates can be awkward and uncomfortable, but they can also be the doorway to starting a great relationship. Every couple has gone through that phase of hanging out for the first time and going out on their first real date and it can be intimidating, especially if you really like that person. First dates can also end in disaster if you both don’t get along or the date is filled with too many awkward moments and uncomfortable conversations. To make sure your first date goes as smooth as possible we put together five things you should not do during the date, and you just might get a second date.
Not Asking Them Questions
Let’s face it, first dates can be uncomfortable and sometimes the only way to avoid being uncomfortable is to talk. However, if you talk too much during your date and not stop to hear what the other has to say it might end badly. You could end up coming across as self-centered or not really interested in what your date has to say. To avoid this situation take deep breaths and let both you and your date do the talking. It will not only show your interest in your date, but you actually might be able to become closer and find out things you didn’t know about each other.
Jennifer B. Rhodes, a licensed psychologist and founder of Rapport Relationships says, “People who are good at dating that to be a good date, it is never about getting your needs met- it is about trying to get to know the other person.”
Keeping Your Cellphone On The Table
Nothing is more unattractive than someone not paying attention to what you have to say. When you’re in a conversation, and someone picks up their phone it is a sign of disrespect and makes them look uninterested in what you have to say. Now, this may be something you have done on a first date, but we are here to tell you to stop! It could have been out of nervous habit or maybe because you really weren’t interested in the date, to begin with.
Take a moment away from checking Instagram or posting a story on Snapchat and engage in your date. It will show that you are confident enough to sit and carry a conversation with your date as well as allow you to learn as much as you can about them and who knows, maybe you’ll really start to enjoy them when you thought you were getting bored.
Talking About Your Ex
Whatever you do, do not talk about your ex on your next first date! The last thing they want to hear you talk about is your past relationships. You’re on this date for a reason and that is new beginnings so leave your past at the door. Talking about your ex will not only turn off your date immediately but will keep your mind on them instead of who is sitting right in front of you. Talking about your ex might also be a sign that you have not moved on from them and might need more time to get over that relationship before jumping into a new one.
Keep your past in the past and allow yourself to open up to someone new, even if the date doesn’t land you a second one or a relationship. Just don’t let it be because of the horrible ex that you left for a reason.
Bragging About Yourself
We all are proud of ourselves for one thing or another and it’s always great to show off a little bit on the first date, but don’t take it further than a little bit. Talk about a few of your greatest accomplishments like what you do for a living or something you’re proud of it will show your date that you are self-driven and have confidence in yourself. However, don’t start bragging about your income or possessions it will make your date start to feel uncomfortable and think you are all about money and what you can buy.
Think about this, would you rather have your date talk about finally getting into Law School after working hard throughout college or talk about how much money they are going to make and what expensive car they are going to buy when they finish Law School. If you put yourself in their shoes it might make you take a step back and save you from making that mistake.
Being Too Serious
First dates are nerve-wracking for everyone, but taking yourself too seriously might only make matters worse. Be yourself, don’t try to be what you think your date expects you to be because odds are you’ll end up being wrong. If you start talking about how nervous you are or how you don’t usually do too well on first dates, you’re going to make your date feel very uncomfortable. If you feel yourself getting nervous, stop talking and ask your date a question. That way it will get you off the hook from talking in circles and allow you to just listen to what they have to say. Also, it will help you segway into a new conversation if something they say sparks your interest.
Don’t treat your first date like an interview, nobody wants someone who comes to a date acting like it’s a job interview. Be yourself and stay relaxed and calm, it will keep not only you but your date at ease as well.