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Getting over a bad breakup and putting yourself back out there takes time and work. It may not seem like it at the moment, but as cliched as it sounds, things will eventually get better over time. Putting yourself back out there and moving on sounds far-fetched now, (and let’s be real–it’s never easy), but it’s something that is not only manageable but not as difficult to pull off. Making the best of a breakup isn’t easy, but after you go through these 5 stages, you’ll see that there is light at the end of the dismal and dark tunnel that is your life right now.
Take a look.
Mourning
As with any major tragedy that we go through in life, mourning is the first stage(and most important) step when it comes to getting over a breakup and moving on. It’s during the mourning process that we let out all those pent up and crappy emotions we have toward our ex and it allows us to properly mourn the end of our relationship. It’s during this stage that usually consists of tons of tears(and tissues), sad music, comfort food, followed up with a bit of anger.
Mourning the end of a relationship is a normal phase of moving on. It’s important that during this phase you take your time and make sure you get out ALL of the pent-up feelings you may have fully before moving on to the next step. By moving onto the next phase pre-maturely, it could cause you to rebound and won’t make your transition into putting yourself back out there easier-it’ll actually make things worse.
The Transformation
Everyone loves a good makeover and the next phase of moving on and putting yourself out there involves you switching up your look. Many people choose to make a drastic change to their appearance after a break up because it’s a symbolic way of showing that you’re starting over or attempting to make a fresh start.
This phase can also be fun and allows for you to play around with your “look”. Perhaps you always wanted to dye your hair a particular color or try a popular makeup or fashion trend, but you wound up putting it on the back burner because your partner didn’t like it or you didn’t get around to it. After a breakup, is the perfect time to pamper yourself, try out a new trend, or make a change in your appearance.
Mingling
Alright so you’ve mourned the relationship, you’ve given yourself a makeover and not it’s time to get back out there. The key to mastering this phase is to start slow and to not go too fast or too soon. Avoid going straight for the kill or going directly back into dating one person at a time and take some time to mingle. Accompany some friends to a party or an event and strike up small talk with the person standing next to you. Keep things light, smile and move on and talk to someone else.
Do this a few times before you decide whether or not you’re ready to go on a date with someone. Mingling and dating are two very different things and you don’t want to start putting all your eggs in one basket too soon after a breakup. Take some time to mingle and just enjoy it for what it is first.
Mingling Continued (AKA The Sucky Side Of Mingling)
Mingling is an excellent way for you to start putting yourself back out there (and show off after your makeover), but with that comes the not so great side of mingling. The reality is that there will be some nights where you’re a bit too mingled out and just want to stay at home and make it a Netflix & Chill night or the men you’re mingling with just aren’t cutting it. Stay strong though grasshopper.
As with most things, those moments where you’re just over mingling, are far and few between. Remember you’re almost at the end of that tunnel.
The Fresh Start
And finally, the last and final stage of getting over a breakup and moving on is the stage where you wake up, feeling great, looking fine, single, ready to mingle and HAPPY. The last phase is more or less a gut feeling that you’re happy, you feel great, you’re single, and you no longer wish your ex would head dive off a cliff.
The feeling of a fresh start should have you feeling excited and like the world is your oyster. It is at this phase that shows that you’ve truly moved on, you’re ready to put yourself out there, and you can officially pass “GO!” Congrats girl, you did it!
