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As women, we all want to find our “happily ever after” and “the one.” But realistically, we’re bound to kiss a few frogs, go on some bad dates and have some heartbreak before finding our Prince Charming. While having #relationshipgoals is one thing, being so addicted to relationships that it literally defines who you are is an unhealthy habit that should be broken as soon as possible. If the very thought of being single is enough to cause you to freak out and you can’t remember the last time you were happy and single, you may be a relationship addict and not even know it.
Being in a happy, fulfilling relationship while still having your own identity is one thing. Being a relationship addict with no identity is another.
Take a look at these 10 steps to cure your relationship addiction, once and for all.
1. Acknowledge It
The hardest part of fixing a problem is acknowledging that you have one to begin with. Admitting that you may have a problem is literally half the battle. Especially since acknowledgment of any type of addiction is painful to accept to. Realize that once you take an honest look at yourself and you think that you may be addicted to relationships means that you’re ready to take on this battle and be cured.
2. Know The Signs
So what exactly are the signs of being a relationship addict? Well, if the idea of being alone scares you so much that you can’t even entertain the thought, that’s one sign of being addicted to relationships. Also, if you feel like you’re free-falling when you’re single, that’s also a sign. And of course, the most obvious sign is if after a breakup you move exceptionally fast into your next relationship that’s also a clear sign that you may be addicted to being in a relationship.
3. Get Rid of ALL The Temptation
Just like with any addiction, removing any possible temptation that could cause a relapse allows for you to properly recover without the chance of a possible slip. Steering clear of bars (prime hookup zones), deleting dating apps and cutting ties with your matchmaker are ways that you can cut the temptation and avoid falling back into your old habits. Avoid getting pulled back into that relationship craving by removing any relationship cravings.
4. Declare It
Similar to acknowledgment, announcing to your close friends and loved ones that you’re currently struggling with your addiction and on the road to recovery is essential and will help you during the process. Let your friends and family know that curing yourself isn’t easy and you’re not only gonna need their support, but you’re gonna need for them to not aide in your addiction either. That means letting them know to not to try to set you up on any dates, or even talk to you about a potential match once you’ve recovered. Let them know that you want them to respect the fact that you’re gonna need to be alone for a while and any temptation would derail you from your goal.
5. Figure Out Why You’re Addicted
Often times, when it comes to being addicted to something when we get down to the reason WHY or what is causing the addiction, it turns out that it has nothing to do with the addiction at all. Having an addiction usually occurs when there is some other major thing in a person’s life that that person doesn’t want to face. Childhood trauma, career struggles or self-esteem issues can turn out to be underlying issues that are causing your addiction in the first place. Figuring out your WHY allows for you to get to the heart of the issue and work on fixing the REAL problem instead of substituting it.
6. Get Professional Help
Once you’ve figured out the real root and reason behind your addiction, seeking professional help like a therapist or a counselor can be helpful and depending on the severity, crucial to your recovery. Facing past trauma or the major, deeper issues in your life that caused the addiction is scary when you’re doing it alone. Especially for those times when you need to go to that “dark place” and get down to the heart of the matter. Avoid going it alone and seek one on one professional help to get you through it.
7. Surround Yourself With A Different Kind Of Love
Often times when we think of relationships, we accredit that to being our only source of love. One of the steps you need to take as a recovering relationship addict thought is finding and surrounding yourself with different kinds of love that aren’t necessarily romantical. That could be anything from familial love to love from a friend to the most important of all, self-love. Filling those gaps where you’d usually run to your partner for love and validation and replacing them with other forms of love helps cure your craving and need to want to be fulfilled by a relationship.
8. Take Your Time
Avoid setting a specific deadline for your recovery. Everyone’s addiction is different and there are so many variables and factors that go into it, setting a timetable or a specific time frame for your recovery can work against you. Setting a time frame shifts your focus into finishing something by a specific time, versus taking things day by day and THOROUGHLY taking the time to cure yourself. Don’t rush the process. Take things step by step.
9. Rid Yourself Of Your Accomplices
You ever hear the phrase, “You are the company you keep.”? Well in the case of any recovering addict, nothing could ring truer. When you’re in the midst of getting over an addiction, it’s important to remove any and all negative temptation. If you have a friend who is just as much a relationship addict as you, cutting them loose is a necessity to maintaining your health and keeping you on the right track.
10. Get To Know The Real You
Taking the time to truly get to know yourself is probably one of the most terrifying things a person can do, ESPECIALLY as a recovering relationship addict. And while this part can be and sound intimidating, it allows for you to start afresh and discover who you really are, which is way more than just being someone else’s other.
