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When I was in early elementary school, I believed that my mother could make two plus two equal three on a calculator. (I was completely aware that two plus two made four–I just thought that she had some special way of cheating the system.) Until I was eight years old, I did not know that adults could cry. I mistakenly figured that people outgrew tears once they hit a certain age and when an adult told me that she’d cried a few days earlier, I thought she was kidding at first.
Perhaps most famously of all amongst the friends that I grew up with, I didn’t know the correct pronunciation for “Hors d’oeuvre” until I was about fourteen and almost at the very end of middle school; all that time, I’d been reading it in my head as “horz divorce.” Arguing my case against a friend and having my French teacher confirm that I was incorrect was one of the low points of my eighth-grade career.
I know I’m not alone in this, though. As a child, it is easy to misinterpret things that you see or hear and that can lead to some pretty wacky beliefs. People are sharing the strange assumptions that they made as children with the hashtag #AsAChildIUsedToThink and here are some of the funniest ideas.
1. This woman, who was sworn to secrecy:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink I was the only one who knew Hannah Montana's secret
— emylee 🦋 (@emylee_louise) January 22, 2016
2. This man, who was concerned about the road workers:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink these were protest signs. pic.twitter.com/fDXSyhUfSW
— 🇺🇸Josh Keaton🇵🇪 (@joshkeaton) January 21, 2016
3. Mike, who really needed to educate himself:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink LGBT stood for a BLT with guacamole
— mike cella (@mikeVcella) January 22, 2016
4. This cloud watcher:
https://twitter.com/DreLee863/status/690773317343711232
5. This detective:
https://twitter.com/SuptSimonNelson/status/690591555535687682
6. Aunt Carol, who really didn’t want to get fired:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink that when you got "fired" from a job, they literally stood you in front of a wall and shot you. OMG 😮😮😮
— AuntCarol (@carolshamus) January 22, 2016
7. This viewer of old movies:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink that the whole world used to be black and white because of old black and white movies.
— Alyssa🥂 (@A_LeMasters) January 22, 2016
8. This traveler:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink that speed signs where actually how many minutes you were from home. And I wondered if it changed for everybody…
— Sophie-Lou McGrath (@sophieswallows) January 22, 2016
9. Rachael, who desperately needed an anatomy lesson:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink people looked like this under their clothes pic.twitter.com/TKHcSjtdve
— Rachael (@Chathamm) January 22, 2016
10. This patriot:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink
That during the Pledge of Allegiance.. It said "Richard Stands" instead of "For which it stands".. Haha. 🇺🇸— TessMcClaine (@TessMcclaine) January 22, 2016
11. This superstitious woman:
https://twitter.com/dee_emphasize/status/690312597812314112
12. James, who wanted WiFi for all:
The WiFi was free.
It just simply existed naturally.It doesn't.
— James Wilson (@SameSaysJames) January 21, 2016
13. This person who lived in fear for so long:
https://twitter.com/rememberthesouI/status/690556752895447040
14. This person who lived in fear for an entirely different reason:
https://twitter.com/OMGkee/status/690367371069014017
15. Simon, who supports the concept of a mouse house:
Mice actually had little houses inside the walls with a little telly, sofa etc
— Simon (@simonisnthere) January 22, 2016
16. This person who clearly hasn’t seen 101 Dalmatians:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink 100 was the last number
— Rema 🎈 ______🏃♀️ (@OhNo_MyBalloon) January 22, 2016
17. This woman, who isn’t always wrong:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink Couples in movies were couples in real life
— ᏔᏆᏟKᎬᎠᏴᏆᎢᏟᎻᎾFᎢᎻᎬᎬᎪᏚᎢ🥀 (@LaReinaRose) January 22, 2016
18. Kasey, who is against drinking and driving:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink All drinking and driving was illegal.
Mom, put down that Sprite! You wanna get arrested?!
— Kasey Barton (@bama_nurse) January 22, 2016
19. This man who couldn’t distinguish between dairy products:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink cheese and butter were the same thing just different sizes. So disappointed when I took a bite of the butter…
— Pierson Fodé (@PiersonFode) January 22, 2016
20. This man who needed to brush up on his geography:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink 'Abroad' was a country
— kofes (@manlikekofii) January 22, 2016
21. Bethany, who speculated about peoples’ backstories:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink that Cirque du Soleil performers were French orphans that had been rescued from the streets
— Bethany Watson🏳️🌈 (@RadioBethany) January 22, 2016
22. This linguist:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink baby talk was a valid language understood by the privileged few
— #ofoneheart (@wixtay) January 29, 2016
23. This girl, who didn’t know a “Lisa”:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink That my mum's name was 'Mum'. Totally disregarded everybody calling her Lisa.
— Africa (@afhart92) January 27, 2016
24. Matt, who needed to withdraw some cash:
#AsAChildIUsedToThink there was a man who lived inside the ATM.
— Matt Reuben (@matt_reuben) January 27, 2016
25. And this confused soul:
https://twitter.com/GAYTWlTTER/status/691157923590852608
