Best Khloe Kardashian Quotes About Herself, Men & Kim

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Khloe Kardashian has been on the Earth for 34 glorious years. That’s 34 years’ worth of hilarious quotes about herself, her love life, and most importantly, her sisters. Let’s celebrate 34 years of the best Kardashian with her best quotes:

Quotes About Herself

“Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one!”

Fan: “You’re more pretty in person.”
Khloe: “It’s just two hours of makeup, really we look like shit otherwise.”

“I just want to get out of here and go to bed.”

“My fat fucking ass ripped the dress.”

“Ever since Kim called me a troll I love using that word.”

“Life is a bitch. so learn to fuck it.”

“Fuck me with a dildo if that’s what you think.”

“If I sweat on Oprah, I’m just gonna die.”

“Don’t go into the ocean while on your period because a shark is going to attack you.”

“I love long nails. They give me energy.”

“First of all, I’m incredibly athletic. So fuck you.”

“I hate small-minded assholes.”


Quotes About Men and Her Love Life

“Every man needs a bra for their balls because no one wants saggy balls.”

“All men seriously suck.”

“I can’t go into the men’s bathroom. Oh, it’s nice in here! I always hear horror stories about men’s bathrooms.”

“The best form of revenge is a good body.”

“I don’t believe love is fickle. I believe when you love someone you are allowed to love from afar.”

“Part of being married is knowing when your husband needs your support.”

“People are gonna comment no matter what. If I dated the most clean-cut, perfect guy, they’re gonna comment. That’s just the way it is.”

“I love hard; I love who I love, and I don’t make any qualms about it.”


Quotes About Kim

“You know why she’s the most Googled person? Because she was Googling herself.”

“Wow, my sister has changed. She used to whip out her boobs for no reason. Now she does it to feed her child.”

“Her nickname isn’t Elizabeth Taylor just for the diamonds.”

“A little bun in the oven. Your ass is gonna be so big.”

“Are you going to be a boring whore your whole life?”

“She’s right there. She’s haunting me.”

“Kim bitches and complains about everything.”

“I have your Vogue. I read it on the john.”

“Kim just texted me saying ‘How fucking dare you, you’re such an evil bitch. You’ve crossed a line with me, you dumb, evil fucking troll.’ All I did was wake her up.”

Thanks for always keeping it real, Khloe!

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