Romantic comedies are ruining all of our expectations. There I said it.
If you’re unfamiliar with what a meet-cute is, all you have to do is look at every romantic comedy ever. A meet-cute is when our two attractive characters in a rom-com meet for the first time. Sparks fly, or they both “hate ” each other at first, or one of them is a shopaholic and she swindles her way into an economics magazine and falls in love with her boss ( Confessions of a Shopaholic anyone?)
Either way, the fantasy-worthy meet-cutes in romantic comedies have nevertheless caused me to have unrealistically high expectations in regard to how I will meet my true love as well as what makes a relationship. I mean I can’t simply be sipping coffee in Barnes and Noble anymore because now I’m wondering if the love of my life is sipping coffee next to me, or reading my favorite book on a bookshelf 5 meters from where I’m sitting, or maybe just maybe they’ll approach me and ask me what I’m reading and our eyes will lock and the stars will be aligned.
In reality, I’m swiping on tinder and hoping that they aren’t just trying to hookup. I mean I think it’s time that we start having a bit more realistic encounters to stop the longing gaze at the barista that every hopeless romantic is dishing out after watching He’s Just Not That Into You. Here are some common scenarios in romantic comedies that I have adapted to what is more likely to happen in real life, and written in a romantic-ish way to make you more willing and accustomed to them.
The meet-cute= Tinder, Blind dates, “We met through a friend”
This is one of the most essential ingredients of every romantic comedy and it must be adapted to real life so that the romantics among us can stop sitting on a bench and reading a magazine hoping that when we look up we lock eyes with our soul mate (I mean that’s really cute and romantic but I’m trying to save you from disappointment.)
So, you downloaded Tinder for what seemed to be the tenth time. You kept deleting and redownloading getting so fed up with the weirdos that you went on dates with. It was a rainy evening and you were now swiping out of sheer boredom…until. You locked eyes with their profile photo. Tall, strong, beautiful, and somewhat familiar. You read their bio and it was like everything seemed to click in place. They like hiking like you? They enjoy reading in the summertime? They listen to Frank Ocean and their Spotify playlist includes some Lana del Ray and Lorde? You swipe right, and your heart seemed to beat faster in your chest as the screen flashed informing you that you were a match. Instantly a “hey” notification appears…
Maybe Tinder isn’t your thing, so you decided on doing the blind date. You rolled your eyes at your best friend as she cheerfully told you goodbye on facetime. You were outside of the restaurant where you were supposed to be having your “blind date.” You hadn’t wanted it to come to this but you were putting yourself out there again and trying to just go with the flow. You walked into the restaurant and the waitress took you to your reserved table for two. You looked at the time. They were five minutes late. You opened up Snapchat to continuously make sure that you looked okay before they arrived.
Suddenly a tall dark handsome stranger sat down in front of you. This was your blind date? They were so attractive! You greeted each other and began to get to know one another. Your conversation flowed like water and it seemed like you had almost everything in common. As the night grew longer the stranger suddenly stopped and looked at you seriously. They then confessed that he is a prince from Scandinavia and would inherit several riches, the date was going so well that they just had to be honest with you. You then went on to marry them and inherited immense wealth.
Okay, that only happens in romantic comedies but we can dream.
Your friend was having a small party at her place and you decided to go even though you weren’t going to know that many people there. After greeting your friend, she introduced you to one of her friends that you hadn’t met before. The two of you seemed to instantly click and you talked to solely them throughout the entire party. You made plans to hang out sometime and soon every week you were excited to spend the weekend with them. A few months pass and your feelings for each other grow until you profess your love for them at another one of your friend’s parties. The feeling is mutual and you glow with happiness.
The polar opposites= You have nothing in common which everyone thinks is “cute”
In romantic comedies, everyone thinks that it’s so so cute when two people that have absolutely nothing in common happen to fall in love. In real life, this is just unrealistic as well as potentially unhealthy. Opposites attract, but they do not normally last.
So you’re going on dates with this extremely attractive person and everyone is gushing at how cute the two of you are and how dreamy they are and how it’s so funny that you two have nothing in common! How cute! Well, opposites attract you think to yourself.
Things seem to be going fine until a month of dating passes by. They want to sit at home and watch tv whereas you want to visit the new art museum downtown, but they really hate going out so you suffer in silence because they’re so cute and you’re willing to just stay at home and chill. When they finally go out with you to one of your friend’s parties they don’t make a sound and stick by your side the entire time because they didn’t want to come in the first place because they hate socializing. The entire time they keep asking you how long you’re going to stay but you brush it to the side because that’s just a part of your cute dynamic right?
Slowly but surely, little things about them begin to really get to you. Why don’t you guys have the same sense of humor? It’s so annoying when you send a meme and they simply reply with a “lol” not even any emojis? Why haven’t they gone on any real dates with you? You’ve spent more time in your house in front of the tv this past month than you ever have in your entire life. Why are they always making the same jokes over and over again it isn’t even funny. They can hardly answer your texts in the morning but you know that they’ll text you at 2 am when you’re trying to go to sleep. You’re really tired of action movie after action movie and you just want them to at least see the new horror movie with you but they promptly refuse. It’s another Saturday evening together and you have an argument about whether or not you go out to eat or watch the newest episode of their show that they absolutely cannot miss…
You and your partner are cuddling and watching your favorite Netflix show that you started together as the rain pounds against the side of your apartment. Tomorrow you have plans to have a beautiful picnic in the mountains and talk about your dreams and desires with each other as you watch the sunset over evergreens.
Last week you both went out to see a horror movie even though you hate horror movies but you know that when you go out again they’ll be willing to see whatever it is that your heart desires. Both of you value friends and family and you’re always excited to meet the people each of you hold dear in your life, which is why you can’t wait for the upcoming dinner party hosted by your friend that you are both equally excited to attend. You smile at them as you both laugh at the character on the screen knowing that they found it just as funny as you did. You glance at the calendar hanging on the wall and your heart warms as you spot the date that you both decided on to go on a backpacking trip across Europe together.
The detrimental Secret= They have a flaky past/ They lied about their age
It seems that in almost every romantic comedy someone is trying to cover up or hide something. This can make the coming together of our two lovebirds seem even more romantic as they battle obstacles and scheme together or have a big blow up argument after discovering a secret about the other and then ditch each other for 6 months until something reunites them.
In reality, for the most part, there aren’t extremely huge soap opera worthy secrets. Usually, the worst case is that they lie about their age or about having a fling before you two were official.
Rather than discovering that their evil twin brother is secretly trying to blackmail them, you simply google their name and find mysterious news headlines with their name attached. The rest is up for you to decide.
You’ve been dating for quite a few months and decide to accompany them to a family dinner. Their mom blurts out that she can’t believe their turning 21 when the entire time you thought they were 25. You’re going to have a lot of talking to do and perhaps a 6-month montage may not be able to fix it.
Romantic comedies give us a nice escape from reality on our lonely valentines day nights, but for the most part, they are just fantasies. Real life encounters can be a lot less glamorous than in the movies. That being said, I hope that everyone gets the chance to have a meet-cute at least once in their life!
