Sometimes the idea of love can be blinding. It’s this beautiful warm and fuzzy thing that we can all hold close to our hearts, but we need to make sure that throughout infatuation we are still putting our best interests first. Read this article to see if the daydreams that you’re having about your significant other are overshadowing some potential real issues in your relationship.
1. You have enough personal space
When you’re new in a relationship you tend to want to spend every single waking moment with each other. However, it is important to remember not to isolate yourself and shut yourself off from your friends and family. Having a healthy amount of space will allow the both of you to maintain who you are and your independence. Sometimes when people break up they claim that it was because they didn’t know who they were anymore outside of being in their relationship. You don’t want to lose yourself in someone else. Leave some room to miss each other!
2. You can both go out with friends without there being an issue
The healthiest relationships have a sense of trust in place. You should be able to go to a dinner with your friends and not have your significant other calling your phone every 30 minutes. Healthy relationships allow trust and independence. If you really love each other you can both respect the other’s social lives without making each other feel like you’re walking on eggshells every time you tell each other that you’re going out.
3. You can communicate your feelings to each other
Every relationship is going to have its fair share of arguments. It’s important to remember that while arguing, you’re trying to come to a compromise or an understanding not necessarily trying to “win” or avoid “losing”. In a healthy relationship, you aren’t afraid to communicate your feelings to someone. You can tell that person how you feel and have them put themselves in your shoes and vice versa. You know that the ultimate point of the argument is to understand one another better and express that you would like something to change. There is no fear of being shut down or having your feelings invalidated.
4. You laugh more than you cry
If you feel like your relationship is more of you making up than making out, then you made need to make some serious changes. Your relationship is going to have its ups and downs, but it’s the ups that make you get through the downs. A healthy relationship has the positive outweighing the inevitable negative.
5. You don’t question their intentions with you
A healthy relationship is not consistently made up of “wyd” texts at 3 am (unless your both vampires). When in a healthy relationship, you know that the other person is there for all parts of you good and bad. You don’t question whether or not they’re there for the right reasons because they make their intentions clear and unquestionable.
6. You feel like they are helping you to grow
There’s a narrative that when in a relationship the other person “completes” you, or is your “missing puzzle piece”. But the healthiest relationships are the ones where nothing was missing or incomplete in the first place. In order to have the best healthy relationship, both partners should already know their own self-worth enough to know that they are great even while on their own. When you know in your heart that you can be truly content with just yourself, your sense of self-worth will act as a foundation for a relationship where you stay true to yourself and are pushing one another to be better as humans. A healthy relationship involves someone bringing out the best in you and inspiring you to grow as a human being without necessarily fulfilling something that you lack.
7. You feel safe being vulnerable with them
Sometimes we feel that no one is going to understand our own internal personal struggles. The right person for you will make you feel as if you are in a safe enough environment to confide in them with things that you’ve been holding back for fear of being judged. A healthy relationship will not allow judgment to be a factor when revealing what’s been on your mind.
Overall, relationships can be amazing, but it’s important that we aren’t losing ourselves so much in someone else that we’re ignoring the warning signs. It can be hard to admit sometimes, but everyone could stand a little re-evaluation. I hope that your relationship passes most of these check marks!