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Relationships are great and hard at the same time. And not just for romantic relationships but friendships and families as well. There are just a lot of things that you constantly need to watch out about, but at the same time, the people would bring you the joy that’s all worth it.
Healthy relationships are based on trust, mutual respect, and security. Have you ever had a partner who was so in your head that all of a sudden, you woke up and realized you were willingly doing things you’d never usually agree to? Odds are, you might fall prey to a master manipulator.
Unfortunately, manipulation in a relationship is more common than you may want to believe. Manipulation in a relationship is a serious problem because it’s sneaky. Knowing the right words to deal with these people can give you the strength to stand up to them or walk away. In the cases of romantic relationships, manipulation is probably a sign of an abusive relationship, so the best thing to do is to run fast and far away.
Here are 10 signs that you are being manipulated.
They Constantly Make You Prove Yourself
Those people never respect your boundaries and constantly ask for your attention and love. They are usually impatient, demanding and selfish. You often find yourself overextended because you’re afraid to upset them or let them down.
They never let you off the hook and constantly guilt trip you into doing things for them, even if it’s inconvenient for your schedule.
They Blame You For Their Actions
Does your partner get outrageously mad out of the blue? Or make a mistake and come back saying if you didn’t get them upset they never would have done it?
That is a clear sign of major manipulation. They are using your actions to get away with their own mistakes. In simpler terms, they guilt trip you into forgiving them when in fact you didn’t do anything wrong.
They Blame You For Other’s Actions
If other people come on to you and your partner gets mad at you, even though you didn’t do anything wrong, odds are they just want to control your behavior.
If they attack your behavior, the way you dress, or even your personality for someone else’s behavior, be that a friend, a coworker, or even a waiter, they aren’t jealous in a cute, protective way. They are trying to change you to make themselves more comfortable.
They Convince You You’re Wrong
Manipulators often hold themselves to a higher level. Although secretly insecure, they come off as if they are smarter than you. One of the biggest signs of them manipulating you is when you share an opinion, they would claim that they said something earlier or even question where something went.
In their defense, manipulators will twist the story around, make exaggerated excuses to justify their behavior, and will not give up until you admit you were the wrong one.
They Flip Around What You Say
Someone who is manipulating you will trick you a lot. If you question them or even double check something they said, they will put words in your mouth.
You might ask them if they are sure they wrote something on the calendar or picked something up at the store. And instead of simply replying, they will snap and say something like, “What do you think I am, stupid?” They take something meaningless and turn it into an attack on them so that you feel bad.
They Communicate Passive-Aggressively
“Manipulators are rarely ever direct with their sly and cunning behavior. They prefer to communicate passive-aggressively and won’t hesitate to talk about you behind your back,” according to YouTube Channel Psych2Go. “This protects their good guy or good girl image.”
If they also turn to a middleman to communicate for them, this shows that they are afraid to confront you personally. Because guess what manipulators want? Control. If they are asked to face their fears, that means they are forced to let go their dominance.
They Gaslight You
By definition, “gaslight” is a technical term used to manipulate someone by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Manipulators would use that technique to make you feel like you can’t rely on your own memories anymore. When someone gaslights you, they would pretend they didn’t say or do things that hurt you in the past. They would often twist the truth and reinvent it, which makes you question your sanity.
Gaslighting isn’t just manipulative, it’s also a serious form of abuse. So watch out, run as far as you can if your partner has this type of behavior.
They’re Always “Just Joking”
It might seem harmless at first, but manipulators can take their jokes too far that would end up hurting you. When you stand up for yourself and confront them about it, they would try to brush it off and tell you that you’re being too sensitive.
At the same time, manipulators won’t mind embarrassing you in public. This gives them an audience and they’re experts at getting each other to laugh at you with their jokes. These mind games are incredibly damaging to the people they used them against.
They Play The Victim Card
When the two of you fight, manipulators will always make you feel like it’s your fault. They would try to play the innocent victim who is badly hurt by your words and actions. Manipulators are experts at looking like helpless small creatures, they never believe they’ve done anything wrong.
As the result, you will find yourself apologizing every time because they avoid taking responsibilities for their own mistakes.
They Talk Down To You
This is also another serious form of abuse and is also unbearable. If your partners constantly talk down to you as if you are less than them or as if you are worthless without them, they are not just manipulators, but abusers.
This is the action that would eat your self-esteem away and decreases the chance of you leaving them, just because you feel so small about yourself.
