Shutterstock
Someone at my church once told me that my testimony should never be more than two weeks old. This is a secular testimony, but it still fits the bill:
For a long time, I have felt uncomfortable using the label “feminist” to describe myself. Often it seems to connote a self-serving, exclusive feminism-especially white feminism and I do not want to be associated with that. Nor do I want people to assume anything about me or my beliefs because of a flawed idea they have. I definitely ascribe to the ideas of inclusive, intersectional feminism, but I really struggled to claim that label.
And then, one night, a few months ago, as I was scrolling through LinkedIn, I saw that a former authority figure in my life, someone I really looked up to when I was younger, had made some comments about not being a feminist. His comments suggested that he disagreed with the beliefs of the movement and that he found it unnecessary and wrong. He then went on to critique “liberals” for disliking this belief of his. And I sat there asking myself “but why isn’t he a feminist?”
That was my ‘aha!’ moment. The first time I had ever felt comfortable with that label or actively thought of myself as a feminist. I was taken aback for a minute once I realized that I had just thought of myself as one and been surprised that he was not.
I am sure many of you can relate to my first exposures to feminism. Initially, all I saw was the very anti-male feminism that seemed to spew hatred all the time. I also saw a lot of white feminism: that particular brand of self-serving exclusivity that wants equality for women, so long as they are middle class, white, cis-het (Cis meaning cisgender-your assigned sex matches your gender identity, and het meaning heterosexual or straight), etc. I knew I did not want anything to do with a movement that ignored the issues of other women.
The United States has seen that pattern for too long; I was not about to continue the cycle. What I did not know yet was that that image I had of feminism represented only a small fraction of feminists. There are problems in any movement, and often the most problematic voices are the ones that get heard.
But something changed for me in college. I met my mentor and through her a plethora of amazing women who embodied the values I wanted to represent. I began to gain a different understanding of feminism, and though I still was not comfortable with the label, I understood the movement better. I started to seek out feminist voices in media, and to reevaluate the people I viewed as inspirational.
I became more actively involved in hard discussions on my campus, especially those around race, while also becoming more aware of the assumptions and beliefs that I usually did not question. And I began to explore the idea of being able to claim “feminist” as part of my identity.
My boyfriend, Oliver, and I have had many discussions about why the label was always hard for me to claim. He grew up in a household of strong women and he easily identifies as a feminist, but he listened to my reasons and talked with me about why I felt that way. He was always supportive of my journey and wanted to see me continue to grow.
It is quite possible that the former authority figure rejects feminism for some of the same reasons that I struggled for so long with claiming the label. He wrote a book about the topic though, so I suspect he has done at least some research. And as I found out, my initial misconceptions were a result of being exposed to fear-mongering and no independent research of my own. Had I done my research before entering college I would likely have felt more comfortable claiming the label earlier.
Seeing that LinkedIn post was an awakening for me and it felt so good to finally feel comfortable using that label for myself. I still dislike the idea of people assuming things about me or my views based on the label, but I feel more comfortable having a discussion around it.
As sad as I am to learn that someone I used to look up to rejects feminism, I am glad that I was able to finally embrace it because of that. It took me four years to properly understand the movement, to identify with it, and finally to be able to claim the title for myself but I am so glad that I no longer hesitate when using the word ‘feminist’ to describe myself.
