The term Gaslighting can be defined as a form of manipulation that causes the target of the gaslighter to second guess themselves or questions their decisions or who they are overall. it is a tactic used with the intention of making someone feel less then they are or more insecure. Unfortunately, this form of manipulation and emotional abuse can be present in many interpersonal relationships, sometimes without realization from the victim or manipulator. Below are five actions to make note of as forms of gaslighting. Even if some behaviors seem completely innocent on the surface being aware of particular actions.
1. They Tell You Things Other’s Say About You Even If They Are Negative
Being told what other’s say about you can sometimes be intimidating, especially if they are negative. It becomes an entirely different thing when it is your partner who is feeding you negative information about yourself. This not only can lead to insecurities but out of context can be taken an entirely different way. If your partner is feeding you negative information about yourself, it raises the question of why wouldn’t they put a stop to the flow of negativity. Or rather raises the curiosity of what would the benefit be of feeding your head with doubts about yourselves and other relationships be.
2. They Put Problems With The Relationship Just On You
Relationships are usually composed of two people. It is between those two people in which problems are discussed and so forth. Problems can sometimes be inevitable but how conclusions of resolutions are found is what truly matters. If your partner doesnt have the ability to recognize that because the relationship is two people the problem should be evenly dispersed as well.
3. They Tell You You’re The One That’s Wrong
Relationships are supposed to be a two-way street. If the blame is constantly put on you it becomes one way. Not only is this unfair, but can lead to self-doubt. Odds are you are not always the one wrong, and if your partner themselves can’t even realize that that is a fault within themselves and also immature. It falls along the lines of manipulation because it is an action to avoid putting the blame on themselves at all costs, even at your expense.
4. They Don’t Take Responsibility for Their Actions
The ability to take responsibility for one’s own actions is a mature thing to do. However, it is necessary for a relationship that should be centered on understanding and compromise. If your partner can’t take responisibily it puts that same responsibility on you which is not only not fair, but the guilt shouldn’t be at your own expense.
5. They Block Your Growth
Arguably the most valuable component of relationships is helping the other person grow. If you can’t grow with someone, you are bound to outgrow them. Or even worse, if they block your growth you will have no long term benefit and it is essentially where the relationship can turn toxic.