When starting a relationship so many feelings are flying around. From the anxiousness of falling for someone to seeing past surface-level components, progressing with someone can sometimes be intimidating. You begin to learn about different facets about one another that go past just a first date or interaction. In general, people have layers to them and these layers are important to access about one another in terms of moving forward in the relationship to see what works or what isn’t necessarily the strongest suit as a couple and how to improve in that area.
Bringing questions to the surface can ensure that both you and your partner on the same page in terms of overall values is important when looking at the future of the relationship. Certain questions can help problem solve and work through conflict when it arises. According to relationship expert and psychotherapist Dr. Tina B. Tessina, PhD, and author of Dr. Romance’s Guide to Finding Love Today, analyzing, asking and answering, these five questions can help determine if your relationship is built to last.
1. How Do You Define Commitment?
Defining your relationship is the first step towards moving forward with your significant other. If you and your boo are on the same page in terms of your roles with one another, then you are more likely to avoid future problems and arguments. This conversation can seem a little awkward, however, transparency is key in avoiding the concept of assuming things about the other person and their particular viewpoints and perspective of what the developing relationship means to them.
2. How Do You Manage Your Money?
Finances become more prevalent as you get older but also when you begin to be more serious with your significant other. Some people prefer to split finances and others in long term relationships may feel as though money should be pooled. Finding common ground with someone you plan to progress into the future with early on in terms of finances will lead to less confusion when situations arise. The most important thing is that each member of the relationship knows how to find a strategy in terms of money that works for them.
3. How Do You Take Care Of Things Around The House?
Whether you have made the decision to move in with your boyfriend/girlfriend or not, you will most likely still be spending a significant amount of time with one another at each other’s places. This being said, determining household roles ensures that you agree on how the shared space is being used and taken care of. People often come to conflict when these types of small tasks aren’t discussed and therefore not completed.
4. How Much Do You Value Friends And Family?
One of the primary components of clicking with someone is mutually having shared values. Finding out about the other person’s other relationships and what comes as a priority to them can strengthen an understanding of the said person as a whole. Friends and family prevalence essentially shape who the person is as a whole. By getting to know who your partner values and surrounds themselves with, you will begin to connect with them too on a deeper level.
5. What Is Your Love Language?
Last but not least, discussing each other’s love languages will help better understand how to progress and make the other person feel loved and happy in the relationship. This is important to talk about with your partner because the way they communicate their love may be different than the way you do. By asking how they chose to give and receive love will give clarity to not only their actions but act as a guide for a response to those actions to make them feel the love in return. It is easy to think you are communicating compassion, but if they have a different way of seeing it then those efforts may go unnoticed. Understanding this about one another rids any feelings of uncertainty, doubt, and future miscommunications.