When you first meet someone you are into, you are seemingly always excited and entertained with feelings of giddiness and uncertainty. As relationships develop it is easy for those nerves to fade as you become more and more comfortable around someone. When this happens the line between complacency and safety vs. merely being comfortable with one another becomes thinner and thinner.
According to Christine Scott-Hudson, MA, MFT, ATR, owner of Create Your Life Studio and a licensed psychotherapist, “If you have too much safety, you are likely to feel bored, stuck, and uninspired” she tells Bustle. Finding a balance between comfortability and complacency, it is important to continue to be interested in getting to know your partner even if it seems like you know everything about them already. Experts say if you have experienced any of these six things, it may be time to spice things up.
1. Nights In Have Become Routine
While Netflix and Chill nights can be fun and relaxing, having too many of them has the potential of providing a routine for spending time together. While spending time alone in your space with one another is valuable and a way to connect, making sure date nights are different and you two seek out new activities is equally important in remaining excited.
2. You Don’t Actively Listen To Your Partner As Much
When you are first getting to know someone, everything that comes out of their mouth is of interest to you. You want to know everything about them, their opinions, and what excites them. After spending a significant amount of time together, while your interest shouldn’t fade, if you feel you don’t want to listen anymore it can be the first sign of boredom.
3. You Think About What Things Would Be Like Without Them
Getting close to someone it is easy to develop a routine, if this routine, however, is causing you to think about what other things would be like without them it could be a sign of things going sour. Your partner and who you chose to be in a relationship with should never make you necessarily ask the question of what if things were different.
4. Time Alone is More Enjoyable Than Hanging Out
Spending time alone is crucial even if you are in a good and healthy relationship. However, if you are having a better time doing chores or everyday tasks then time spent with your partner, it is a sign things need to change. Too much time with someone can be very unhealthy, however not enjoying time with one another is not good either.
5. You Experience Consistent Feelings Of Restlessness
Feelings of restlessness are often the offset of complacency. It merely means you want more fun and excitement in your everyday life. This includes incorporating that excitement into the people you choose to spend your time with and more in particular your significant other.
6. You Don’t Feel As Close
If you are feeling distant from your significant other, it is time for a change. Having a conversation and being transparent about this disconnect could be what is necessary to build back the relationship and reignite that initial spark felt in the early stages of getting to know one another.