12 Noteworthy Instagram Accounts to Follow Relationship Advice

It doesn’t matter if your struggling in a familial or love relationship, newly single, having a crush, or falling in love, we’re all there, there’s always a situation where you just don’t know what to do with those intense emotions. Although trying to handle it yourself is always what we want, but, sometimes being open about it and looking to hear advice from others is a great method. Especially if they are accessible within an app on our phones that we use daily for socializing, are they even better. So, these 12 popular relationship accounts on Instagram are 100% worth following for their advice. You’ll get some wisdom and perspective in your feed that applies to you, no matter where you’re at in your love life.

1. @natlue

Check out author and relationship blogger, Natalie Lue’s page if your happiness is impacted from putting or pleasing others before you.

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Hands up who’s over-responsible? This is where you default to taking too much responsibility because your parents/caregivers gave you too much of it or you assumed it to ‘help out’ and ’be good’. It’s something that affects a hell of a lot of us. I’m of the generation where there wasn't this social consciousness about parenting. Most parents did not read parenting books or worry about being a ’good parent’. ”What the feck would I need to read a parenting book for? You think anybody read one back in Jamaica?” 😂, ”Go ahead and call Childline if you think you're bad!” spring to mind! Physical punishment and a lack of filter were very common back then, and I know that my parents repeated patterns from how they were parented. I speak to so many people who blame their current and past struggles on being not ’good enough’ when, in fact, they are and always have been worthwhile and valuable people, they just don't realise that they've been socialised and raised, whether it was consciously or not, to be over-responsible. Some of us still think we have to live our life for our parents or play roles that no longer serve us. That's why we’re The Fixer, The Saviour, The Overachiever, The Clever One, Second Best, The One Who Must Not Do Too Well, and more. But these are jobs and responsibilities that were never ours in the first place, and we don't have to keep settling for sucky relationships, burning ourselves out, or mistreating ourselves to numb us against the weight of the over-responsibility. Ack! I just noticed that weird typo added onto one of the sentences by Canva, but can’t replace or delete it now. Argh! The perfectionist in me is screaming 😂😂😂😂 #baggagereclaim #codependency #codependentnomore #emotionalbaggage #recoveringpeoplepleaser #recoveringperfectionist #overthinker #selfhealing #healthyboundaries #peoplepleasing #peoplepleaser #peoplepleasers

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2. @elizaboquin

If you’re struggling to let go of a toxic friendship or hesitant to fully move on, licensed therapist Eliza G. Boquin’s posts will encourage and motivate you to live on without guilt.

3. @tyler_spangler

Tyler’s Spangler’s gorgeously designed typographic treatments that are equal parts art and therapy posts will cheer you up in more ways than one.

4. @gottmaninstitute

If you like graphics and visuals, check out John and Julie Gottman’s page. They are known for marriage and relationship therapy and their helpful infographics will lesson you immensely.

5. @lizlistens

Couples therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw gives advice through her posts on how to be a better partner, listener, and communicator. Overall, a better person.

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{The anatomy of an apology} . ✅Listen to impact & withhold defensiveness – Hear their perspective. Listen to how it made them think or feel. . ✅Say “I am sorry”- . “ I am so sorry…” . ✅Be clear about what you understand the impact to be – . “ I am aware that (insert what you did) really hurt you. I know you said it made you mad, disappointed and sad. It also impacted your (day/life) by (insert impact on day/life) . ✅Empathize – . “It makes total sense to me that you would feel these things. I would too.” . ✅Rebuild trust with your behavior- . . Ask what you can do to make amends. . “I know I will need to rebuild your trust and just saying sorry isn’t enough. I’m going to make sure I am being more direct and clear and honest with you moving forward. Is there anything else I could do that would rebuild your trust?” . ✅Request forgiveness – . “I hope you can forgive me. And I also recognize that will be on your own time. . Focus on relieving their burden not yours – the focus remains on them. Often we apologize to relieve our own burdens and expect the other person to help us do that through our apology. Instead, remember that your apology is to help them move forward AND the bonus is it might also relieve some of your own emotional burden. .

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6. @createthelove

Known for his blunt but truthful advice in a poetic statment, Mark Groves, a “human connection specialist” posts relationship tips you might not want to hear, but need to hear.

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Reactivity is wound memory. As in, a past memory of a situation which led to abandonment, rejection and/or a sense of unworthiness is being triggered in the present moment. Essentially, our "wounding alarm system" is going off and saying, "we know where this has gone before." • The challenge with this is that where we've experienced wounding we often become HYPER-sensitive to any potential hurt. So, what can happen, is that we can become very reactive to objectively simple things. Things and moments and words that don't actually threaten us. • If you tend to get defensive, withdraw, get angry, or just end things and run for the hills, your behaviour is likely being driven by hurt… and likely previous hurt, and sometimes hurt that has nothing to do with the non-threatening person who's trying to love us… we just can't see the love (or are terrified of it) through the fight/flight/freeze response we're in. Our subconscious takes control and creates similar relational situations, breakups, drama, fighting. And so on. • First off, welcome to the club. All of us humans are reactive in some way. And the work isn't to turn off the radar that triggers us, it's what we do with the trigger. We are responsible for how we react. Read that again. *We are responsible for how we react.* • Secondly, it is up to us to learn how our wounds get in the way of love and connection. It's always how "our stuff" plays with our "partner's stuff". So where do we begin? Next time we get reactive, let's pause and get curious. Where do I feel this in my body? When is the first moment I remember feeling this way? And, in this moment, what would love do/choose? That's how we start. Awareness of the reactivity, and then choosing what we do with it. • It's not instantly fixed and healed… it takes practice and effort and trust to guide our hearts to safe love. It takes beautiful boundaries to preserve us, and it takes vulnerability to share and open ourselves up to love, which we often equate with pain and hurt. Want to know more about triggers? Head to the link in my bio and sign up for my newsletter – you'll get an email from me with a quick and easy guide to triggers! #createthelove

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7. @the.holistic.psychologist

Searching for more actionable advice? Psychologist Nicole LePera gets into more healing-oriented posts on her @the.holistic.psychologist account.

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The ego loves a good story. It will create them all day long. If you start to observe the ego, you’ll see it creates stories based on past experiences. The ego seeks to do 3 things: 1. Keep you in the safe, predictable future 2. Keep the concept of self the same as it’s always been 3. Keep you from seeing your own role in any situation (this is the ego’s way of protecting the “self”) I think of the ego as an overprotective parent. This parent wants to keep you safe, and shield you from some realities. The problem is, there’s no growth in the comfort of the familiar. If we keep living without questioning the egos stories, our lives will have the same continued results. The highest self is simply awareness. It’s consciousness. It’s the part of the mind that can think about what we think. It’s the part of the mind that re-directs attention away from those stories. When we’re trapped in ego stories we aren’t actually making choices in line with our values, and our intentions. Being out of alignment consistently becomes a vicious cycle where we experience shame and resentment. Question the ego. Watch the stories come up. Re-direct your attention. Breathe. Then find the power of CHOICE. You guys know what to do, give me your best ego vs. highest scripts in the comments #selfhealers

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8. @midtowntherapist

Specializing in relationship therapy and self-love, licensed therapist Carrie Babe fills her @midtowntherapist account with soothing reminders that it’s okay to want more in relationships. Sometimes, self-love is all you need.

9. @lovealways.drbetsy

Sometimes humor is the key to something so serious and depressing. Clinical psychologist Betsy Chung runs her @lovealways.drbetsy account with a dash of humor and meme-ery that still manage to be full of heart.

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Proactive listening is a really important relational skill to have, yet so many of us suck at it. : A big reason we suck at active listening is due to erroneous “schemas” that we all have. : Schemas are like theories our minds have created about various things in order to make sense of the shit ton of stimuli we’re constantly barraged with. They’re basically mental shortcuts we use to quickly interpret important stuff around us, because our brains can’t reasonably and efficiently analyze all of the data that enters our peripheral. : Schemas can affect our abilities to proactively listen because they cause us to react prematurely to new information through the lens of existing theories. What results is that we jump the gun, and assume we know what others are thinking or going to say, before they have the chance to finish their thoughts. : Here are some common schemas we have that might affect our abilities to proactively listen: (swipe left above for details) ✔️ Binary thinking ✔️ Defensiveness ✔️ Victimization ✔️ Solution-focused : In addition to schemas, here are other common difficulties that counter proactive listening: • Passive listening; we hear words in a conversation without attentively engaging. • Listening to respond; you pause in a conversation just for the space to communicate your piece, without sincerely considering what the other person is saying. • Multi-tasking leads to a divided attention, causing you to miss important details of a conversation. : Stay tuned, next I’ll throw in some tips to become a better proactive listener.

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10. @notesfromyourtherapist

Very creative. If handwritten notes are your thing, then @notesfromyourtherapist is a winner for you. With an M.Ed in Marriage and Family Therapy and Mental Health Counseling, Allyson Dinneen posts some seriously enlightening words of advice that will emphasize and inspire you.

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The science major in me loves human biology and the neuroscience of connection! ❤️ . (Reposting some past notes here and there this month while I work on a project! Not going anywhere. ✍️) . . (Editing to add some resources for people who wrote to request. Here are just a few of my favorite writers on the subject of interpersonal neuroscience: Johann Hari “Lost Connections.” Dr. Stephen Porges “The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, Self-Regulation.” Dr. Dan Siegel “The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are.” Bonnie Badenoch “The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships.”) . #interpersonalneurobiology #polyvagaltheory #attachmenttheory #emotions #feelings #emotionalintelligence #emotionskills #emotionalneglect #writersofinstagram #relationaltrauma #relationalneuroscience #vulnerability #relationshipskills #compassion #selfacceptance #tuneintoyouremotions #emotionstherapist #notesfromyourtherapist #nfyt #depression #anxiety #loneliness #trauma #traumahealing

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11. @shadeenfrancislmft

If you need a moment of zen or a reminder that it’s okay to prioritize yourself, Shadeen Francis, a licensed marriage and family therapist, posts inspiring quotes that will help soothe and find yourself.

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Many of us are raised to be strong. The world can be a hard place, and we need resilience to survive it. But what is strength, really? Somehow being vulnerable is no longer valuable, and to be strong we have to be apathetic and unfeeling. • I often think of a scene from the movie 300 when I talk about vulnerability. There is a scene towards the end where the protagonist, a gladiator named Leonidas, walks determinedly towards an impossibly large army of invaders. But what stood out to me were the optics: the warriors were covered in heavy armory and yet Leonidas charged the field in little more than a cape and a loin cloth. • To walk through a dangerous world exposed requires a belief that no matter what happens to you, ultimately, you will be okay. The willingness to risk being emotionally impacted by others takes COURAGE. Having emotions is brave because most of us were taught to be afraid to feel. • Having emotions isn't weak. Vulnerability is the greatest strength we have.

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12. @nedratawwab

Therapist and writer Nedra Glover Tawwab’s Instagram is full of clear-cut examples of exactly what behavior is and isn’t okay to accept in a relationship in a bulleted list outlining what to do, what to avoid, ways of coping, and how to be a supportive friend and partner.

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