You love your boyfriend so much but you feel that the relationship isn’t going anywhere. You two have become so different from each other that it feels like you are not longer in the same relationship.
If you find yourself in the same predicament, you feel like you don’t know what to do. Breaking up seems like a good idea, but the thought of breaking his heart appalls you. Yet, you don’t want to become a stranger with this person you care so much about.
Whatever it is that’s causing you two to stray away from one another, there still needs to be communication. Breaking up is not going to be easy, but don’t feel tempted to keep him around for too long because you may go back together. Also, never seeing him again can become a reality.
You will only have all the memories you shared with him and it will hurt to think how they are going to be left in the past. Breaking up with someone you still love will probably be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but these steps, according to Elite Daily, will definitely make the process less painful.
Make a decision and be strong
You may be unsure about breaking up with your boyfriend because the relationship itself is not damaged. It has become different or you two may be growing apart from each other. The thought of “maybe we can work it out” will be very prevalent, that’s why you have to clearly make a decision and stick with it.
“Ask yourself this: ‘Why do I not want this and what would make things different?'” Dr. Joshua Klapow, clinical psychologist and host of The Kurre and Klapow Show, previously told Elite Daily. “Ask yourself: ‘Have I had the conversations clearly and specifically about what is not working and what is working?’ If you love the person, then you need to be very sure that you are very clear about why you don’t think it is going to work.”
At this point, break communication with your ex because you will feel tempted to go back with him because you still love him and it will totally make you wonder if you are making the right decision. Which brings me to the next step.
Distance yourself from him
You are going to miss him a lot. You will want to see him and the temptation to just call him to hang out will be strong. You know that he is not right for you anymore, but you still want to meet him again.
Right after you break up with him, you have to spend some time alone to heal.
“It’s useful to initiate the breakup conversation at a time when you all have space during/afterward to respond to your subsequent feelings and reactions,” James Guay, a therapist who specializes in high-conflict couples, previously told Elite Daily. “In other words, don’t start the conversation right before you each have to go to work or to an important event.”
You need to be quick about it because, the quicker you are, the faster it will be to get over it. If you feel that breaking up with him is the best thing for you, go for it.
Set post-breakup rules
If the goal is to remain friends after the breakup, then post-breakup rules need to be implemented to keep both of you from falling into a vicious breaking up-making up cycle and hurting each other more. Talking with him every day after the breakup is not going to help you get over him because you will be doing the same thing you did when you were in a relationship with him.
Understand that the role you have in his live will change and you need to establish a clear boundary from him to save yourself from an extreme heartache.