There’s something about the weather cooling down that makes us want to couple up. Either we want a spooning buddy or we don’t want to show up to yet another family get-together empty-handed and have to explain to grandma that, yes, we’re still single.
Welcome to the cuffing season, and here’s how to survive if you’re a party of one.
1. The more attention you pay, the more prominent it’ll be.
It’s about not narrowing all of your attention to every couple you see whenever you leave your house. The more you dread being surrounded by PDA, the more glaring it’ll seem. Once you accept that it’s inevitable, you won’t see them as couples, you’ll just see them as people.
2. Don’t buy into the media.
The holiday season seems to magnify relationships. Billboard ads don’t feature one person, but rather, a couple. Songs reminisce about that special relationship. Films are about love stories gone wrong in the beginning but right by the time the credits roll. Relationships are positively glorified in the media and being single is considered negative. Once you ignore this, you’ll already be one step ahead.
3. Stop expecting.
As we go on in our lives, we may expect to have magical eye contact with that attractive stranger and hope for them to strike up a conversation and bond over coffee and lemon squares as orange leaves flutter around. Or we may think of our friends and wonder if any of them is potentially the one and we’ve just been too blind to see it. While we are constantly told to go after what we want, sometimes, it’s best to just sit back and let things unfold on their own, and for the better.
4. Don’t see your worth through the eyes of someone else.
We can’t stand with someone by our side if we don’t know how to stand on our own. If we have a SO to constantly validate our worth and beauty, it’s easy to become reliant on their praise and it can all come crashing down if the relationship ends.
5. There may be a reason why you’re single at the moment.
I don’t mean to self-deprecate and watch The Notebook on repeat. It may just be that you’re not as ready as you think you are. Whether you’re still reeling from a breakup or you’re trying to figure out who you are, this is the time we have to self-reflect and work to better ourselves. Get over your fear of dining as a reservation for one or go do stereotypically date-worthy activities, like the beloved ice skating, by yourself. We have the rest of our lives to be in a relationship but this is the only time we have now to make mistakes, and make all the wrong decisions for all the right reasons.
6. Throw yourself into your work.
This is the time we have to fully immerse ourselves into achieving our goals without worrying about carving out time for our partner. Pick up the hobby you thought you’d never had time for and make that resume of yours even better than it already was. By the time your career is taking off, and you’ve crossed a few things off your bucket list, you’ll be all the more ready for that special someone, and all the more impressive.
7. Do spend time with your family and friends.
If we don’t have a SO, we don’t have to choose between our partner and friends because it’ll always be friends. And that’s one less gift we have to buy.
One could be in a relationship for all the wrong reasons but there’s never a wrong reason to be single. I would tell you that you’re a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man, or a hundred cats, but you already know. I’m perfectly content, drinking my PSL and curling up by the fire, alone.