24 Of The Funniest Quarantine Jokes On The Internet

The pandemic has stopped the world as we know it. The virus has been spreading and has since taken away sports, music festivals, and a number of our normal spring and summer activities that allow us to free our minds and have some fun.

So what are we to do? Well, luckily there is the internet.

While we all sit around and try to remember what life was like on the outside, the internet has provided us with some entertainment to keep us laughing as we fight through. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

We have compiled some of the best memes and jokes on the internet about the pandemic and the shelter-in-place orders that have risen from it. So sit back, scroll through, and enjoy a much-needed distraction from the historical moment we have found ourselves in.

1. So This Is What It Feels Like To Be Essential?

Hey, somebody has to put in the work. And being essential means you have some bragging rights over your friends who are bumming it on the couch while you risk your life during a pandemic, doesn’t it?

2. What Summer Body?

Let’s face it: summer body just isn’t going to be a thing in 2020. With the country on lockdown and nothing to do but watch Netflix and stuff our faces with snacks and drink the days away, Summer 2020 is going to be more about appreciating a solid beer belly.

3. Well, That’s Dark

Everyone is laughing at the quarantine jokes as we try to deal with personal and economic anxiety, let’s just hope that we’re the ones who ultimately have the last laugh.

4. Halloween Is Going To Bring Life Back To Us All

Halloween is always a time to get drunk and enjoy scantily clad women parading around the bars and house parties, but things may go next level after months of quarantine. Let’s just hope we aren’t bombarded by thousands of sexy nurses… or maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

5. Stay Positive

Okay, not THAT positive.

6. Hairlines Across The Country Are In Struggle City

One thing every man in the country realizes during these tough times is just how important your relationship with the barber is. When stay-at-home orders are finally lifted, there’s going to be a bunch of homeless-looking dudes rolling out of their crib desperate for a lineup.

7. That’s Going To Be A No For Me, Dawg

Shows everywhere are shutting down production due to the pandemic, so maybe we can get creative and turn the ER waiting rooms into an impromptu talent contest? Let’s just hope “ability to sneeze further than six feet” is not on anyone’s talent list.

8. The Joke Is On Us

This may have been the worst and longest April Fool’s joke ever.

9. You Have Been Given Orders

The virus outbreak began in the Wuhan area of China, but the country now claims to have everything under control. Can we really trust President Xi Jinping, though?

10. Bring That Big Thanos Energy

At a time like this, we could all use a quick snap from Thanos to rid the world of the virus. We’d settle for six bottles of hand sanitizer, though. After all, you always have to look out for yourself.

11. Take That, Mom

At times like this, it’s great to be an introverted couch potato. You can go about your everyday life while others complain about being bored and lonely. And you get to do all of that while still being a hero.

12. March… April… Billy Mays

We’ve really had enough, Billy Mays. And we don’t need to see any other wild “As Seen on TV” twists and turns for another few months.

13. April 2020 is 4/20 Every Day

The best part about smoking at home during isolation is you don’t have to worry about being stuck on the couch. What else are you planning on doing? As an added bonus, you don’t have to worry about having bloodshot eyes in public.

14. As The Great Michael Jordan Said: ‘F Them Kids’

Sure, having a child and starting a family is something that most people look forward to in life. But if you are stuck in a house, would you rather have a glass of wine or a whining baby?

15. Pull Up

There has never been a better time to track down that person who has been avoiding you because they owe you $20 from a drunken bet.

16. New Sidewalk, Who Dis?

Has anyone checked on the pigeons lately? While we are all locked up at home, these poor pigeons are out there left alone without anyone tossing out their bread crust for the birds to feast on.

17. Keep Your Third Eye Open

What if this entire pandemic was manufactured by the New World Order so they can have 24/7 surveillance of our bathrooms? This could work for businesses though and cut down on the number of people sniffing suspicious powders in their bathrooms at 2 in the morning.

18. You Thought!

While stoners can enjoy days at home with nothing to do, they better have stocked up on a healthy weed supply or at least considered some rationing. Because what are you going to do when the real 4/20 comes around and you’re stash is empty with no one to call?

19. ButtCoin

Welcome to the new form of modern currency.

20. At Least We’re Wearing Pants?

It may not be the apocalypse we all imagined, but truth be told, wouldn’t you prefer to be comfortable when you’re battling to the death? I’d much rather have free range of motion than a 40-pound helmet limiting my movement and vision.

21. It’s All About Keeping A Routine

One way experts say you can help avoid depression during the lockdown is to find a routine as close to your every day, normal life. So for those who are used to hopping on the train to work or class every morning, don’t get caught slippin’.

22. What Stay-At-Home Order?

No matter how many recommendations come from the medical professionals, we’re always going to have people ignoring the orders and going about their normal lives like nothing is wrong. Don’t be that person. No one likes that person, because they’re going to get us locked down for another 30 days.

23. That Hand Sanitizer Drip

Who would have thought one year ago that carrying hand sanitizer would make you cooler than some wireless headphones? Take that, Steve Jobs.

24. We’re Going To Need A Lawn Mower

Stay strong, people. We will make it out of this together.