When you go on a date, there are certain topics that are considered “taboo” to talk about. Especially if you don’t know the person all that well. One of these so-called “taboo topics” is politics. However, dating coach and founder of “Find Real Love After 40”, Jennifer Wexler, says talking politics on a date could actually be a good thing.
“Why wait?” Wexler says, “Politics is going to come up at some point.” Wexler says it’s better to know about someone’s political background right away, especially if politics is a potential deal-breaker. “It’s better to know now than later,” she states.
Wexler says the best way to bring up politics is in a curious way, rather than a questioning way. However, Wexler doesn’t think you have to feel pressure to bring it up right away. “You can bring it up anytime,” she says.
When asking your date about politics, Wexler advises people to focus on values, rather than beliefs. She says it’s important to figure out where they developed their values, and what they consider important. “Be respectful and kind,” she emphasizes, “Explain why you voted for someone, and why you believe certain things, then ask them to do the same.”
So, what do you do if your date has different political values than you? Wexler says you can continue the relationship. “It can work out if you respond with curiosity and an open mind, not if you respond with aggression,” she says. “Respect each other’s differences, knowing that you might not necessarily agree on issues,” Wexler says that her own parents have different political views, however, they share the same values. Wexler believes having healthy debates can be good for a romantic relationship.
However, Wexler understands that politics can be a deal-breaker for some people. If it is, Wexler tells people to be respectful. “Don’t make the other person feel wrong,” she says, “Then focus on dating those with similar views.”
Wexler says talking about taboo topics is an important part of dating. “Dating is about getting to know someone authentically,” Wexler says. Wexler describes dating as “collecting info and data and figuring out if that person is right for you.”
Wexler is currently based in Los Angeles. She has a master’s degree in psychology.