The most important thing in any kind of relationship is communication, and this can be especially true when you’re pursuing a relationship with a romantic partner. However, there are times where communication falls flat, and some are left wondering what they did wrong (or what their partner did wrong), but this can be easily avoided. Here are some red flags to watch out for when communicating with your partner:
They talk at you
There is a very broad difference between someone talking to you, and someone talking at you; essentially, the latter is somewhat a disrespectful action. When someone is talking at you, it means that they are talking to you without listening to your response. If this is happening, be sure to let your partner know that the conversation feels unbalanced to you. Also remember: it can be very easy to talk over your partner at times, so be sure to look out for them as well
They play the role of educator
There’s nothing wrong with correcting your partner on little things, but if your parent is constantly correcting you or or trying to control your opinions, then there’s a problem. This isn’t a sustainable way to live, because if your partner is constantly trying to correct you, or tries to control your thoughts or opinions on a certain subject, this can impair your own judgement and prevent you from making your own call on things. If this is happening, try to talk to your partner about it and let them know that you know a lot of things too, and you don’t need their correction for everything.
They lash out at you
Anger is a very normal feeling, and it’s okay to feel angry, but it’s what you do with your anger that really matter. Your partner lashing out at you (or you lashing out at your partner) can be very damaging, and these kinds of outbursts can really affect one’s emotional and mental health. This kind of communication is also unhelpful because there is no real communicating happening; just barking and yelling. If this situation describes you and your partner, it is suggested that you bring up these issues in a diplomatic way. No one should be yelled at, and neither should you.
They shut down
Shutting down, while sometimes an unavoidable reaction, can be very frustrating if you’re on the receiving end of the silent treatment. Silence is an unhealthy way to combat conflict, as it prevents communication from being had, which means that no solution is met. Even if the topic is uncomfortable to talk about, it’s still important to always have a clear line of communication between partners. If this is happening to you, it is important to face the issue head-on, no matter how uncomfortable you or your partner might be.
Relationships take time and effort, and there is bound to be a little conflict along the way, so don’t completely panic if there’s trouble in paradise. Just take things nice and steady, and remember to talk to your partner, and things will soon be happily-ever-after for the two of you.