Um. So, this week happened. Anyone who still likes Juan Pablo or think he’s a good guy, please tell me what you are thinking. That includes Clare and Nikki because apparently they still find this dude worth marrying.
I am briefly going to recap Clare and Nikki’s dates because, honestly, who cares?
First we get Clare’s overnight date, and it’s pretty bland. But LOL at her saying that now she respects Juan Pablo’s decision to set a good example for his daughter. Lest we forget she’s referring to the time they went swimming in the ocean, may or may not have gone a little farther than kisses, and then he basically called her a floozy. She respects this random line drawing now? So now, the first time they actually get to have totally alone time together, she’s hesitant? For real?
Side note, did I hear wrong or during their date did Clare say “So if this works out between us, I don’t know if this is weird, but I would want to meet Camilla and explain to her how I feel.” Wait… What? What does that mean? She’s 4. Or 5 whatever I don’t even care.
Anyways. I just already can’t take this effing guy seriously. Even as Clare is telling him she’s falling in love with her, all he does is monologue things about his daughter and about respect and nothing he says ever makes any sense. The only thing he ever says to the girls is that they’re beautiful and that he wants to kiss them. Bessito, Bessito, blah, blah, blah.
And Nikki: stop it with that pants outfit. Seriously, right now. This is all I have to say about this date. Why does Nikki bore me so much?
And on to the Andi, who made this week absolutely ridiculous and who I am now in love with.
To be honest, I liked their date way better than the other two because they actually interacted with humans and didn’t just bessito on a yacht. It reminds me how I used to like him when I see him joking and being fun and not just kissing girls. I also felt like they had actual conversations, Juan Pablo voiced some concerns with her and listened to her. So rare! (Can you tell I wrote this as I was watching the show? I’m leaving it in here just to show you how much things changed for me on this point).
But this takes us to the most confusing thing I’ve seen on The Bachelor since Des fell in love with Brooks and then was engaged to Chris 2 days later.
JP raves about the overnight—says it was a thousand times better than he expected, talked and laughed for hours, she could be the one.
How did Andi feel? Hated it. Literally felt like a prisoner and couldn’t wait to get out. WHAT? She said he name dropped, talked about his date with Clare (big surprise), and only talked about himself all night. Classic Juan Pablo! Not surprisingly, Andi didn’t love this.
This made me love Andi so much. And also made me like Juan Pablo so much less. It’s not that they didn’t click—it’s that he was so oblivious. How can we believe anything he says about any of his connections with these women, when he said these things about Andi when they were on a date that felt like a prison to her?
I suppose we should feel a little sad? It sucks that he felt that he could marry Andi and she hated him so much. But… How do you not notice?? How! We’ve all been on bad dates, we know how that feels. You guys, has Juan Pablo never been on a bad date? Is he so handsome nobody ever tells him he’s the worst? #thebubble #hotpeopleproblems
Luckily, Andi isn’t that person. She was able to tell him everything we’ve all been feeling for weeks.
I about died when she said: “I don’t think Juan Pablo is taking this seriously… Not once did he really ask anything about me… I tried to talk to him about things that were serious to me and all he wanted to do was say it’s okay and give me a kiss.” I KNEW IT. Through out the season I’ve really tried to get behind him, and give him the benefit of the doubt. I tried to believe maybe a lot of it had to do with his accent. But, I trust Andi more than JP at this point (obvi) and I think she hit the nail on the old dumb head.
And as she is telling him all this, literally as she is telling him she doesn’t love him, and won’t love him… He just sys “It’s ok.” Uh… He was seriously just saying that he could marry her. That’s okay?
It’s not okay, and I love Andi for telling him that. He deserved to hear that it wasn’t okay, and that she put herself on the line, and that he should give a shit at this point. She doesn’t care that he respects her honesty—she wants some feeling from him. And he’s refusing to give it to her. You guys, how was she not laughing this entire time? He kept referring to her in the third person and saying that he likes her and he’s not happy. Oh. My. God.
She also asked what I have always wanted to know about this show. I’ve always wondered if these conversations happen: politics, religion, how they want to raise children, social issues. These are things that are important to me, and that I think are important to a relationship—they never seem to be discussed on this show. Clare and Nikki certainly don’t mind that JP doesn’t know these things about them. But Andi, because she’s smart and real, IS concerned about those things. Also, loved with JP turned it around on her with the big stumper of what his religion is and she nailed it.
Here are the two BIGGEST ways Juan Pablo is the worst Bachelor ever.
1. He told Andi: “I didn’t say you were here by default, I said you barely made it here.” Uhhh what?
2. Because Andi confronted him and tried to talk about her feelings, he immediately wrote her off. He said that because of this argument he couldn’t be with her anyways. You guys. He’s been saying for weeks he could marry Andi. Marry her. Have her be the mother to his child. His child. I can’t.
I honestly don’t care what happens in the finale. I honestly can’t see him being in a committed relationship after all of this. But my question is this: What happened? I loved Juan Pablo so much in the beginning. Seriously my first two posts are just paragraphs gushing over him. Now I never want him to find joy and I can’t feel positively about any of this.
The better news is: Andi is sure to be the next Bachelorette, and coming off this argument, I can only assume she will be amazing. We just have to get through one more episode of this douche B before we can get back to a better Bach season.
[Lead image via]
We Hate Juan Pablo: “The Bachelor” Recap, Fantasy Dates
