It appears someone hacked into Bucknell University President John C. Bravman’s email or he took some serious bath salts. Apparently Dr. Jack MeHoff the director of EAT-ME believes there are some crazy psychedelic tarantulas on the loose and if ladies wear sundresses they won’t get attacked?????
Dear Students,
I’m writing in response to a troubling phone conversation I had this morning with the director of EAT-ME (Exotic Animals Taking over Modern Environments). Dr. MeHoff – better known as Jack, believes that a rogue cell of psychedelic tarantulas are migrating towards Lewisburg. In response, I am issuing a campus shutdown effective tomorrow, whenever classes start. Tarantulas are very fond of drag; I advise all ladies to minimize risk by wearing sun dresses. Men, shirt and tie will suffice.
My best,
John
The only thing strange about this is that if I were to spend all this time hacking into the university President’s email, I’d have done something much cooler. I’d announce they’ll be free pizza and a Kanye concert on the quad at 5PM and then be lake, “LOL. FAKE YOU OUT.”
[Image Via. Shutterstock/mhatzapa]
