Look, I’m the first one to admit my flaws. I’m not the best driver. (That’s what I say when I want to feel like I’m telling the truth because yes, I’m definitely not the best driver, but I’m also withholding the fact that I’m probably the worst driver. Ever.) I actually had to go to the DMV three times before getting my driver’s license. Yeah, it was bad.
The thing is, I know I’m fine. It’s everyone around me that has such a problem. You should probably hire a chauffeur from now on if …
1. Your friends are always telling you…
2. Every time they get in your car, they’re like:
3. And:
3. But you’re like, guys … CHILL OUT.
4. Cars swerve around you and you’re constantly getting the middle finger.
5. So you try to blame your bad driving on your shitty car.
6. But that doesn’t work, so you’re like:
7. Like, if they wanted a professional driver, they should’ve called a cab.
8. You only go to places that have parking lots because …
9. When people question you about your driving skills, you’re like:
10. You’re not even afraid of getting pulled over.
11. Because you know how to work your magic with the cops.
12. Ain’t nobody messin’ with you.
[Lead image via Valua Vitaly/Shutterstock]
